Cool! That was an entertaining read.

Though, you might want to take note of this: it is great that you're writing from Jasmin's perspective, but do ensure you know that not all Muslims believe in Jihad, and Allah actually states in the Quran that murder for any reason is WRONG. I think you already know this, but I'm just worried that you might offend Muslim readers with your story and Jasmin's actions. there are Muslims who wish for peace, and there are those who are extremists. There's another term for them altogether - Islamists, which is different from Islam.

I won't go on any further, because I think you already know all that, but I'm just worried. A lot of Westerners have misconceptions and mistaken stereotypes about Muslims, most of which are not true. You may have heard of Middle East killing and abusing their women, you may have heard of 9/11, and I'm sure you definitely know about the London bombings a few years back, but the majority of Muslims in India, Malaysia, China, Indonesia are not like them.

Peace. And I'll definitely look forward to your next chapter! I really can't wait to find out the secrets behind Project Genesis!

P.S. I re-wrote the second half of Chapter Zero Three (or 4), so you might want to read and review it again. Thanks! Do tell me if you like the newer version better or if you actually prefered the old version. And there's a nice addition in the end, after the reunion with Mai, so you might want to read all the way to the end!

Sorry, I'm a bit late on this. College has me by the neck.

Good update, yet again. Using a range of different POVs without getting everyone all confused isn't the most easy thing to accomplish but you've done it well. Great build-up on the plot. I can't wait until Nathan finally gets to the bottom of things and Gabi begins to master her powers :)

:O Wow..great chapter :O Michelle's house...! :O Where will she and Willow go!?!?! :O Aww Gabi and Tristan's bit was emotional...hope he wakes up soon. Liked the bit with Bjorn :O wow...! And the ending was very dramatic :) Great as always !! :) x

well you're doing a great job on bringing England to the manga/anime worlds ^-^ nice job and for the play list song, I love that song.

Onward with the story's chapter xD

I found the plot beginning to become more thicken and the range of characters are very surprising to read about =0 the new esper is cool and I can see some of Yoruichi within the chapter too =) Gabi has a lot to deal with 0.0 damn right? You have very good characterization 0.0 Does your mind play them everyday in your head when you do other activities? Reason for asking is because you bring them to life with their emotions

As for the negative =/ sorry dude

the story seems to be in a slow pace and I can get impatient, but I can be patient =D I hope to read about the Helix headquarters soon =P also sorry about the long ** review xD I just wanna sound like I'm a mature writer and review properly 0.0 too bad the "proper" won't happen any time soon XD lol Above all dude wonderful job this story has moved to my favorites list ^^

This is absolutely amazing! I loved it! I couldn't rip my eyes from the screen! Must read more...later, because I have something I have to do today..., but awesome! Everything was just so wonderfully described...^^

Gets more interesting with each cahpter. The Sonic the Hedgehog mention was funny. Kind of just out of place but it fit well. Meridith interests me. Female characters with more sides to them you pull that off well.

A good chapter. I like the descriptions and interaction. The pacing didn't drag on for me. The part about the cat makes me want to read more - the ending does remind me of Yoruichi! XD

The word "look" has been repeated. I can suggest replacing some of them with a synonym.

And in response to your review reply, you're welcome. :-)

--*--

Corrections/Feedback:

{“What happened...? Karen asked.} A quotation mark is missing.

{“Yer... the air it's shaking.”} Unless it's intentional, there should be a comma after "air." Also, I noticed that "Yes" became "Yer." Is that intentional?

{“What are you talking about Gabi?”} A comma after "about."

{One drop rolled down the glass, and landed on the sill.} I'm not sure if there should be a comma.

{He found his mums number and rang it.} mum's.

{“No I wouldn't of,” he laughed.} I don't think "laugh" is a dialogue tag.

'Gabi span, staggering off the floor to find Meredith behind her.' By 'span' do you mean 'spun'?

I like how you put a little preview of the next chapter at the end. By the way, your playlist is cool. :D

Besides that, all I can say is: AMAZING.

That is all.

~Belle.

feels like the plot is begining to thicken and teh pace to quicken here :) I wonder what nathan will find in the NP (am very jealous of him XD Bet Sash is too)

It seemed strange to me that Karen just walked away after Gabi reveals to her that she is an Esper too? Unless she had some pressing reason, or was a really really solitary person, I’d be hanging round gabi some more…?

Jasim, I’m a bit uncomfortable with. I really liked that he had doubts after burning the building, that showed him as a bit more 3D, but I think we could do with a lot more rounding of him before that act. At the moment he just seems like a figure out of a tabloid rather than a human being. His thoughts before the act were a start to letting us understand him, and I like his dad, but yeah, he just doesn’t feel like a real person to me, the way the other characters do. I like that these esper powers are being used by all sorts of organisations: government, anti-government, science etc, but I think the character needs a lot more rounding to avoid being just a stereotype with extra powers… sorry if that sounds harsh.

unless what they are planning is not violent (which would be a great twist), then calling the mission 'Jihad , Phase One' bugged me too, because it perpetuates idea of the word 'jihad' in the western media as only analagous with war and violence, when it has so many other meanings.

“attractive looking woman” maybe explain what about her was attractive, rather than just state that she is?

“Ruff! Ruff!” The front door opened and an animal bounded through. Putting the dogs bark as speech made me laugh, like it was a children book somehow? Ruuf ruff, said the dog ;) consider just saying that the dog bounded through barking or something, or that he heard barking outside and then…?

““No I wouldn't of,” he laughed.” Wouldn’t have, or wouldn’t’ve

“He raised his hands foolishly, portraying an act of surrender” ‘portraying an act’ seemed too formal in style? Maybe consider something like “He raised his hands foolishly in [mock] surrender” or something?

Lol, I can see gabi trying to use her powers to dry herself and ending up burning all her clothes XD

“Cats can't be condescending...” Oh I disagree! Lol
Love the cat, though.

I like how we get insights into lots of teh characters here and connectionbetween a few of them too. great stuff.

"Then suddenly a heat enveloped her, and a sheen of sweat covered her skin, glistening in the morning sun." I'm not sure both 'then' and ' suddenly' are needed?

"Meredith watched her in an emotionless manner. " to me, this sounded a bit awkward? maybe consider something like 'emotionlessly' or 'without a trace of empotion marring her features' or something? Dunno.

"The aura you saw around me is the passive state of an Esper...We're both in that stage at the moment – the active stage.” State or stage? i'd be consistent at this point, just so its as clear as possible

"Memories caught alight like old photographs consumed by flames. " nice image!

"It had been her fathers disappearance. " father's

"anything of good nature that escaped from her mouth was an achievement." of A good nature?

"Gabi made her way over to Tristan, feeling a swell of emotion upon the sight. The sun was sinking once again outside, reminding her of how long she had been unconscious. “I'm sorry Tris,” she whispered. " new para for i'm sorry tris?

"Their friendship began like a candle flame, and the more it was fanned, the more it grew. " to me this metaphor was a little incongruous, because candle flames don’t grow when they are fanned, they flicker. Unless you swap the ‘and ‘ for a ‘but’?

"preferring to keep himself out of the student limelight and the popularity spotlight. " wasn't sure on the difference between these, and so wasn't sure why both were necessary?

"“Because this is dangerous,” the voice seemed to crack up . " at first when i read this i thought you meant 'crack up' as in laugh?

"could his informants clues be one big hoax" informant's

"Some sharp and loud metal song blurted from the speakers" am not convinced you neded the 'and' there.

onto ch 5 :D

Oh gettign interesting here. So far I like and it seems like an interesting read. At first I thought thsi woudl be a straight crime and drama story but the addition of espers, (still unsure what those are) adds a fantasy aspect. Good job adn I didn't notice any errors.

Loved It! Yay, Nathan's not dead and Selene being a shape shifter is an unexpected twist. Look forward to reading more of this!

Update Soon!

-a little something for chapter 1 before i move on-

Sorry if I'm nitpicking.

> 'he thought to himself.' -the thing about this phrase is that it gets a little redundant when one 'thinks to himself'

> as for the word 'darkness' it often gets a little cliche... but maybe that's just me.

-as for chapter 2-

I love how you describe how time flies by through the colour of the sky or other. As always, your writing is lovely. Helix is very interesting. I shall continue reading when I've the time.

~Belle.

O wow, it's professor mgonogal! Ok seriously now, I like that you have a lot of characters in different story-lines, it makes it a whole lot more interesting. I liked the twist in Nathan's situation, the setting and the woman, and the Jasim development was great. You're doing well with this story, keep it up :)

:O Very shocking ending...wow!! Selene...that was great...very unexpected but you added little hints :) Liked the woman called Michelle haha :) :O And Jasim..! God...very dramatically done..well done :) I like how the stories going..each chapter gets more exciting..can't wait for more xx