The story is coming along pretty well. But with all that blood, why didn't you tell us something about the body?
I look forward to reading more about the killer's background.

But killing someone isn’t that easy.

Why did he kill her?

twenty two year old collage graduate:

Doing art here now, are we? It’s college

No apology needed. You pack a lot into your short chapters. Longer ones might bore readers and make them lose interest.

Well, you warned us that it was going to be an unusual story. First off, I have to give you points on originality in the name "Illyasviel Medvedev." That alone tells us that she must be some kind of a nut. I don't see how James Evans has a chance against her with such a boringly ordinary name. Anyway, it's nice to see two kids collaborating on a creative project. I'll be interested in seeing how it works out for you.