I like the rhyme and meter. Lovely imagery.

OMG...I'm speechless, I feel as if someone just squeezed my heart, and I just can't breathe...these are emotions I'm used to...but someone expressing them this vividly...just WOW. You are truly an inspiration :)

The repetition of the form of these lines really works. It seems to mimic the way goes on and on, without the luxury of a pause button. Especially for people who are in hard circumstances.

The very last line seemed a little ungainly. I read the last four lines out loud, and I think it's the two 'w' sounds right next to each other - no one would've. Or there may be just one syllable too many for the line to work.

Lines that I liked - "And the lights were spilling liquid gold." "And her nails flashed bright colours/And she was dressed to kill." These really give me an image of this girl and the scene. I also liked the little detail that her nose was cold. :-) In a small way, it added a subtle touch of reality to this girl who lives so starkly that I might not otherwise have been able to relate to her. Very good poem!

That was pretty from the situation in which you wrote this piece,I think your character in the poem seems like a much exaggerated version of your position at that stuff,highlights the title quite done!

eekk, amazing! "And she clutched at herself, tighter than ever

For there was no one else to hold." That line was my favorite part. makes the feeling of the poem come thru stronger. the loneliness come alive. :] ur a pretty darn good writer. hehe.

I really, really like this. For some reason, the images just leap out at me. the liquid gold light, her nails, it all comes together to be beautiful. I enjoyed reading this.

Brilliant!

So sad! I love the rhyming and imagery! :)

Bravo.