This is a gorgeous story. Your writing style is captivating.

I'm so glad he's not going to die! I am totally aware that you are capable of doing things like that.

nehemiah is really pale, has longish brown hair, and dark eyes. he wears baggy clothes. His lips are scabby and cracked. He wears chains and little bracelets or something. Man jewelry.

Update soon!

Er... this is going to sound weird, but I think I've imagined him with a mohawk, because I knew this guy once named Nehemiah and he had a mohawk. It didn't really register in my mind that I've been thinking of him having a mohawk until you asked what we think he looks like... but yeah. Weird. I don't know why. Not like a huge spikey colored mohawk or anything. Just like, a normal-ish one. Like Puck on Glee, kind of. If you watch that. Which I highly recommend. But anyway. I'd imagined sort of greyish eyes, I think. I don't know. Dark blondish hair, though. I have no idea.

I can not even tell you how relieved I am that he's not HIV positive. God. Thank you. That made my suckish week okay :)

You might have described them both before in certain places, but in my mind's eye Ariel has brown hair, but coppery, and probably brown eyes and Nehemiah has dark dark brown hair and blue eyes. Both skinny, Nehemiah moreso.

Anyway great chap, great angst, great bonding. Characters well distinguished now.

And lol is Nehemiah saying "I'll never do anything bad again" going to result in sex with Ariel? :D

Nehemia is skinny. I picture him not to fair, more like brown hair and green eventually blue eyes.
I like Ariel, how he cares for him. He seems like a very caring person in general.

Nehemiah has that kind of hollow-cheeked but not heavy-boned look with the round (but gaunt) flat face you see in some Irish and Polish people. His lips could be lush but he's got them thinned out from tension most of the time. I don't know what color his eyes are but they're pale, as is the rest of him. You said he's thin, but he could run to fat in middle age.

He's not gorgeous. Some people think he is, because he's intense.

When I think of Nehi, I see an insanely underweight, tall, dark haired (stringy, not very washed), gaunt faced, dark circles under eyes, brown/black eyed gorgeous druggie, who shivers and twitches, while rubbing his arms and pinching himself to see if he's still dreaming...

I don't know if I'm disappointed or elated that Nehi isn't positive!

If you kill Nehi, I'll be really sad ._.
Please no

It was cute when Nehemiah and Ariel were bonding in the car. Also, Amelia is adorable, and I hope she ends up with Bashe even though that will make Seth really sad.

Can we learn some more about Keegan? I feel like he's kind of unimportant but you have him there anyway.

Keep up the good work, Chasmodai.

I so hope that Nehemiah isn't positive, but I know you're quite capable of slapping your characters woith fatal diseases. So if he's positive, can Ariel convince him to get the latest treatment?

Okay, now, I think this is the best story. See, and two-three chapters ago you were in despair over it, and now it's gushing out of you.

Character much better defined. Loved it.

Nehemiah prob doesn't have HIV and having HIV doesn't mean he currently has AIDS either, so is he being panicked and delusional about dying or is he just mentally screwed up? All your characters are pretty mad, I love that :D

Either way I still can't figure where the plot's heading, but looking forward to more :)

Loved these two chapters, especially the night-time interaction between Ariel and Nehemiah. I just think your writing has this intriguing, poetic element and although this is designed to be angsty, you still incorporate pieces of humour. I think that's a key element a lot of writers forget in angst - that to feel the impact of the sadness, you need to go through lightheartedness first. That way, you become so much more attached to the characters. So, kudos. What I think I like most about your writing is it's obvious that you know your characters well - that may sound like something simple, a 'given' even, but there are a lot of stories I've read on here in which the characters are semi-developed. Will read more when I get more time! Xx

Emo Nehi is emo, and I love emo...

So sad... (I don't make sense, sorry, I have a migraine)

I don't. Want him. To die.

You know my status message on gmail yesterday was just like NEHEMIAH'S GOING TO DIE OF AIDS and nobody on my chat list even questioned it? I'm not sure if that's sad or completely awesome that they all know me so well they don't care anymore. Hmm.

But I will be so, so depressed. Like, seriously. It's a sucky week. You can't make him positive, you positively can't. Wow, I didn't even do that on purpose... but still. I will cry.

I still think they're adorable, though. I like their little bonding and shit. And I'm over Stuart. I used to like him, but he's a douche, so never mind. Ariel can own life now. It's all good. Except for how it's actually not all good because Nehemiah's going to die of AIDS. But whatever.

Wow, this was a fast update. I really do like the way you write your dialogs and character insides.

woo for first review for the twinklebug~

See? Trust in yourself more, this was brilliant.

I loathe Stuart as I just told you. Ariel was so nice to Nehemiah, I'm glad. I'm thinking I'd like to maybe have Ariel go off on Stuart at some stage hee, Stuart go back at him and possibly get Bashe involved and have a huge big brawl. With Amelia dancing around the sidelines. Or, you know, her and Eliana could traipse off and take some pictures of fairy temples.

I think Amelia and Eliana would get along really well. I just love Amelia full stop. /fangirl rant.