|Reviews for Absolute Zero|
| Vernelley 1/9/10 . chapter 13
Ha, loved some of those 'cold jokes'... Hideto-Hiroshi can be very witty
| Candyfloss Victim 1/9/10 . chapter 1
Hey! Read your review for Journal of a Demon about the Geordie thing, I told her about that too. You're not even from England and you knew that! Anywho, thought I'd give this a try and I really liked it. How come Hideto has that kind of power? that would be awesome :D Really, really like this, but the thing about the Trisken gives me the creeps, a drug that powerful could cause wars.
Will probably read more later, but am very busy right now, so I'll add it to my favourites and come back to it later. thanks for the great read!
| Vernelley 1/9/10 . chapter 2
Haha, some very witty conversation in here. Very nice. I can't help but say Mai is an interesting character...
| Vernelley 1/9/10 . chapter 1
I read this, I thought it was pretty good. Hope to read the later chapters soon, I've only read the first one. Maybe you should shorten your chapters so that readers don't lose focus so easily. )
| anti-climax 1/8/10 . chapter 9
Hey man, I've been lagging I realize, so sorry about that but I just started work and I'm not going to be free much for the rest of this whole month, so please do bear with me.
My thoughts about this chapter? The Kenji-Ayari back story wasn't really that effective in my opinion because Kenji was a peripheral character in the first place and well, whatever happened between him and Ayari didn't feel quite that important as a result.
I really wish Peter Jackson will die.
And for a chapter titled after a single character, you didn't really place much emphasis on her.
Your fighting scenes as always are vividly exciting but I think you have to figure out your intentions for your supporting characters because putting them there and giving them a story of sorts doesn't necessarily make them endearing to the readers? At present, I'm just thinking - where is Hideto!
I'll try to catch up with your story asap so please bear with me as I go along haha.
| justyourothergirl 1/8/10 . chapter 13
So thats how Takumi and Hiroshi met, very nice. And the shounen cliché keeps coming. Its great that we got to see some more from his past. Keep up the good work.
| Azn-ArchAngel 1/5/10 . chapter 12
hahah, thx for your review, im actaully surprised someone read it p i put that up like 6 years ago x anyways that was a sort of 1 shot thing i wrote for my HS english class.
on another note, i really like this story :) waiting for more chapters! and the return of fujimoto!
| Eytha 1/4/10 . chapter 12
Hey I'm finally caught up on reviews for you now. You're really pumping out the chapters and they're quite long too. Though being caught up won't stop me from reading though. I still have others to review though as well.
Anyway, it was great to see our hero once more. What are we calling him now Hiroshi or Hideto? Well either way, the flashback is quite nice. Introduction of quite a few characters and some more story on the bullying that was talked about back in like chapter 4 or 5 was it?
Listening to Hiroshi talking about the new transfer student was amusing. It is a little strange playing him off like the typical hero of a shounen jump manga while Hiroshi is the hero of the story. While I did laugh at the jokes you made about it; I also felt that was it a little heavy handed. Mostly when you make direct references, but you also don't want to over play a joke either. It felt like it was a little stretched by the end.
And looking at the end I get this feeling that you were thinking of one of the opening scenes in Tenjho Tenge where Aya Natsume is practicing her sword in the dojo and Takayanagi was watching her. It was especially made notable because you mention Maya further back directly.
All things said, it was a fun chapter and it is nice to see Hiroshi back. Though the first person and third person jump is really weird. You may say that switching points of view in third person is weird, but I think it would be less jarring if you stuck with third person since Hiroshi is not always in the scene. Since technically in a first person story you're only ever going to know what happens through a single character's eyes its a little weird knowing about all of the fighting going on while he is passed out.
I look forward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
| justyourothergirl 1/4/10 . chapter 12
Yes! He finally returns! Haha. I must say I absolutely love the shounen cliché, sounds just like the shoujo cliché. Very funny. You got me waiting for the next chapter.
| Eytha 1/2/10 . chapter 11
Already got another chapter up. I wanted to find out what happened between the battle with Chris and Senba. He has a very strange ability, I'm figuring that we'll get to see more of his technique later. Senba disappears in the water, I couldn't help but smile a little at the classic falling off the cliff and believed to be dead. You could very well kill her, but I suspect that she will be returning again and Chris and her will have a rematch. I get the feeling that Senba didn't get to go all out.
I liked the little flashback too that gave some history to Senba and Kenji. All of the vagueness about one organization and another had me wondering what they were. Will you be providing names to these groups soon? I'm guessing that they hold a later significance in the story.
I'm glad to see Mai again, though she was surprisingly calm, but I guess she is in the depressed period of loss over her brother. And Chris seems to walk around with quite a bit of authority in his words. All of the alliances that everyone is making will prove interesting.
Another exciting chapter. I look forward to what happens next, though without a cliffhanger I am a little curious to know what will be occurring. I'm glad you're keeping going on this. Keep it up!
| justyourothergirl 1/2/10 . chapter 11
I must say that I really like the story so far, it's really good. I guess I just want to know what happened to Hideto. You're pretty good at writing stuff like this. Keep up the amazing work.
| Eytha 1/1/10 . chapter 10
I'm all caught up on the story again. Plenty of action and fighting to go around and a real fight between two skilled assassin. It was a nice match up too with two that are difficult to kill.
The fight was very nicely laid out. And with Gray looking like he would not have a chance the entire time and then switching things up. He is quite the mystery though being able to regenerate like that after being nothing but a blood pulp of a mess.
The Bloody Giant certainly did live up to his title. He was a pretty fun guy so it is a little disappointing that he had to leave the stage. Though he has some odd ideas for being an assassin. Enjoying the battle does not really help when you need to kill someone, but still he's fun.
And after one big fight Chris and Senba get to go at it next. It is quite the cliffhanger. It'll be interesting who comes out of this one alive. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| Eytha 1/1/10 . chapter 9
I'm back again, it's taken me a while to get back to this. This felt a lot longer than it actually was I think. I know the length was not really much different from other chapters, but it felt like a lot of things happened, I guess. Still holding out on us to learn of the fate of the story's hero after that battle.
Still not knowing his fate you make it easy to forget with how much is going on and all of the action. It really feels like you've got a lot of threads that you're weaving here making the story a lot more complex than just a straight up fighting genre. I like how you are doing it, helps to really raise it above all others.
It looks like another one bites the dust with Kenji. That was a very nicely done fight and well described. It held an even more important note for the characters not fighting. Seeing how things are going really makes me wonder how many people are going to be coming out of this alive, but I suspect that you don't plan on killing off all of the top assassin or who would be left to challenge after this was all over. Well I guess it would be easy enough to find others there are several that you've already mentioned anyway. But still it is very interesting seeing this all play out.
I'll be curious to see what their plan is in the alliance that they are forming along with the mission that they keep talking about. Keep it up!
| Madness-Soldier 1/1/10 . chapter 1
Sorry it has taken me so long to read this one man. I have been busy, however, I am still working on our characters. Anyway, I like the progression of the story but my only critique is that you might be giving too much at once. Perhaps smaller chapters to help the reader catch a sense of speed. While good, it was so long I found myself drifting away not really paying attention. Other than that, I am enjoying the plot.
As for characters, Hideto, as much as I hate to say it, is basically every other main characters I have seen from you. They wear glasses. They suck at everything and work hard for it. They use two swords. Its all the same thing. I suggest changing it up a bit because the same thing becomes boring not only for you but the leader. I have learned this one from published authors reading my work and letting me know what I am constantly doing. Change it up from story to story and never let the audience see you sweat.
I hope to get you the next Berserk Brothers stuff either today or tomorrow and I have some Black Rose stuff in the works.
Trayce "Firefly" King
| anti-climax 12/29/09 . chapter 8
Yo, it's been some time but I've just gotten back from Down Under and have been quite busy meeting up with my friends heh. All right, reviewing as I read...
I think the 'somewhere else' bits weren't exactly necessary because it looked really weird from my viewpoint. What I think you could have done instead was to do something like 'from their respective positions on the island, each assassin could only stare at that azure wave of destruction in awe' and then you could just elaborate on their reactions without including all that 'somewhere else' bits.
Takuya's dialogue while talking to Kenji - '“I regret to have taken this action' - should read I regret having to take this action IMO.
Other than that, I don't really have much else to add. Kenji really appears to be out of his depth though, given that he was already defeated by Hideto and Hideto considers himself to be the weakest of the lot...
Cheers mate, and a Happy New Year to you!