Wow, this is amazing!
Its refreshingly original and extremely well-written!

Like the idea of Lena dying for every kiss that wasn't One True Love. Love the idea of a fairytale princess not considering a happily ever after valid without television.

Hello! I happen to have just stumbled upon your story earlier, while looking for something to read. Unlike most things I click on, I didn't close it after the second paragraph, which is a miracle in itself these days! xD So, congratulations on having a nice idea and a start that hooks your reader.

I have to say that I greatly enjoyed the read for several reasons.

Firstly, it is a rather unique idea, which makes it interesting from the get-go. It reached its goal with ease, since I was *immediately* curious to see an explanation for what was going on, as well as what other quirky surprises were in store, and thus I kept reading.

Secondly, it is presented in a humorous, witty manner, which doesn't allow your reader to grow bored and makes him/her feel involved. As a result, it has a pleasantly alert pace and (mostly) also an easy, smooth flow.

"So what if I had to die to get an apartment? I'd wanted my own place for years." -- Only pointing this out because it was a brilliant line, and probably my favorite bit. xD

So, in relation to that 'mostly' above, let me point out the minor instances which detract from the flow.

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I think you need a comma after "I mean" in "I mean it's either all of the [...]" -- it would read more fluently that way, I think, since you probably wanted it to be more of... a self-standing remark, and not to give the impression that your narrator is deriving a certain meaning from the previous statement.

"five years before the cables in the lift I was in snapped in an improbable" -- if you could find a way to rephrase this by using 'in' fewer times in such a short fragment, this would read much more fluently. Right now, it has a bit of a "huh, what?" feel to it. Maybe... "cables OF the lift"? 'In' didn't seem like the best preposition choice for that one, anyway.

"I'd had a job interview that day too." -- I think you need a comma before 'too'. It gives a slight difference in meaning. Without the comma, it's more like... "I had interviews on other days too, not just that one." While with the comma it's closer to the 'resentful voice' effect you actually intended.

"Once I'd gotten out of my body, I sat down on the sidewalk to watch the ensuing chaos and keep an eye on my body." -- I think here "once I'd gotten out of my body" was a superfluous bit that you should remove. By this point, your readers already know that 'dying' means that, plus you have it covered in the same sentence, in "keep an eye on my body" (which automatically implies being outside of it). By removing the first part, you avoid an unnecessary repetition that just breaks the flow / slows your reader down.

"I'd had a date that weekend too." -- Same comma issue as above.

"I sighed and to my credit, barely screamed" -- Just one comma there rather splits your entire sentence instead of doing a job at isolating "to my credit". So add another comma before "to my credit", too.

"In fact, most of what they said were compliments on my looks, and I always figured that someone living in the sewer, naturally anyone clean, tall and blonde would look amazing." -- You missed adding a 'to' there, I think - "to someone". Also, I think you need another comma before it, to isolate it completely instead of splitting your sentence; see above. xD

"What kind of girl doesn't enjoy compliments on how she looks, even if it is from sewer-dwellers." -- Question mark instead of full-stop? Also, the idea comes a bit out of the blue because of the way the narrator had already been arguing in favor of her point, so adding "And" in front of the sentence is needed to make her reasoning flow. If you do that, though, the 'and' in the previous sentence is so close that the repetition would be a bit blocky; can be quickly solved by replacing that previous 'and' with 'so', which works wonderfully there.

"Then again I wasn't my corporeal self right now, so why not give it another shot?" -- Comma needed after "Then again".

"I thought as the first shovel dumped dirt on the coffin, and then everything sort of went...black." -- Having these two different ideas in the same sentence steals the strength and shock-effect the latter is supposed to have. It's, in fact, so distinct, that I suggest you make a new paragraph, all by itself, out of "And then everything sort of went...black."

-- Mother jerks awake. "Oh honey, you're awake! -- Why present tense? The rest of the story is in past tense, and continues that way, too, so this just... stands out, and distracts. Also, you're using 'awake' twice in too quick a succession, so you should probably do something about that, too. Maybe "Mother's eyes opened" (or something to that effect) instead of the first sentence?

"So impressive and yet your father" -- comma again, after 'so impressive'.

"Oh we'll have a feast tomorrow!" -- comma again, after this 'oh'. While other instances may not have needed it because its lack contributes to showing the way your character speaks, this one feels like it needs it.

"a lady of the court who had once held an interest in my father and had to live through my own death" -- add a comma after "in my father", because otherwise it seems like you're continuing the idea about the lady. Though, IMO, it would be even better if you full-stopped there and made a new sentence. (So it looks like "[...] held an interest in my father. I had to live [...]")

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I hope these observations have been at least a little helpful, and I can assure you that they come only with the best intentions. Forgive me for picking on such small things. I just thought the story was worth it.

I'll be chucking it into my favorites, too! Hope you have a nice day!

I really liked that. I can't tell if it's finished or not, if this is the end, it's more than satisfying.