The "click-clock" part was very onomatopoeic.

The "sustenance of plight" ending was nice, as well.

Hmm, the diction is good, inspired, a little pompous but in an almost mock-heroic way. Though I did find myself at times craving for some firm rhythm or meter to enhance the flow. Control is very crucial and what distinguishes amateur writing from professional writing and this is something to take in and develop meticulous throughout your life. You are never perfect, always in-between but definitely this is something to work on. What you are aiming at is to be able to write as you write here, emotionally and devotedly without much hurdle or stoppage and at the same time doing so in a controlled, stylistically uniform manner. But I enjoyed this little poem, the ending had a powerful sound to it.

Oh this is great! I enjoyed reading it. What else can I say? Keep writing! :)

~Anna~ ^_^