"And weeping she cries out, hurting from her pain,
Wishing he was here, to shield her from the rain."

I loved this simply for those lines :)

Beautiful!

~Little Miss Cullen Cutie~

I love the way you're able to create characters and tell a story through your poems, rather than the usual expression of personal feelings by most poets =) The poetic format gives the story a more enchanted atmosphere and the rhythm really maintains the tense pace!

Veiled in velvet white, a denial that he’s dead.
--aww, that line really got me!!

aw Aw AW!
That's so sad! Gah!
You totally have to make that into a story!!

Nicely done. Something about the last words in each line grips my attention: "pain/rain, pain/rain. red/dead, red/dead. night/light, night/light. pain/rain, pain/rain." It's almost like a chant.

Wow...this...wow...this is excellent!
There is so much emotion...such great discription...wow.
This is going to the favs!

"Midnight waking darkness." How interesting. I like the idea that Midnight (nice use of personification, by the way) is sleeping before she wakes to find the 'sea of ebony.'

"Boulevards of rain." Bravo! What a fabulous description! :D

"Nightshade black." Ah, Mirabella, how lovely of you to mention the Belladonna plant. I'm impressed with that allusion. :)