Holy Cow. I've read all of this so far. This is really really good. I agree, I like how you keep saying "this man" and everything. Wonderful! Keep it up!! Seriously!
Keeana

Hm...I'm intrigued. I think this idea has definite potential. I really liked the repeated "this man" and "there is something." There were a few parts that seemed a little choppy to me, that didn't quite flow. It's a little hard to pinpoint exactly. Then again, that could sort of symbolize the theme, considering this is about a murderer or psychopath of some sort. Anyway, I really like it, and I'll continue to read!
~Rae

Clever. Interesting how the murder's interior is so clearly depicted through his eyes.

I like the repetition in this, it's like a journey of realisation as to the man's true identity. :)