This was surprisingly very good. The rhyming was unorthodox, but it was still very good (a feat that I myself cannot pull off with unorthodox rhyming schemes). The thing that really made me like it was the subject matter. It was very dark, but not your typical "woe is me" poem. It was also abstract, so it's mostly left up to the reader's imagination what kind of pain you were going through. This also allows the reader to connect with the poem more than an objective story. Cheers for this one! Good job.