woah samuel youve done great

Oh, is it the end already? Is it just a novella? I see. Well I guess it was a nice idea and a nice story, not the type I usually read or write, but I liked it. Sometimes 'your' was supposed to be 'you're,' however, for 'you are.' But otherwise yes I liked it :). -JSM

hm interesting... still wandering around lost, is he? glad he found a cave though. update soon sorry for not reading as soon as i got the alert! -JSM

I really enjoyed you first chapter! I read the second and third but I thought the first was my favorite. I liked the way you 'talk' it the story, it's like you really know the character.

:D

Is this supposed to be a journal? If so then I can look over the grammar and things... but I'm interested in finding out what happens next! Update soon, and again, if you want help fixing grammar, I'll be glad to help. -JSM

Not the type of story I would usually write or read, but it interests me. However, what's his name? If it was there, I didn't catch it. Like you said in your profile and some people mentioned in other reviews, your grammar could use a little bit of work. In fact, would you like me to help you with that? I'm a beta reader and it's my natural tendency to want to help when I see a story with good potential that could flow a little more smoothly. Cool! Keep writing. I have a cousin that lives in New Zeland, and even though I live in the U.S., I can still beta for U.K. spelling people because I used to live in Singapore, so no worries on that one. Anyway, message back about whether or not you want me to help. Later! -JSM

I love this story, it's really good, few spelling mistakes and use of wrong words for the meanings but everyone dose that so don't worry. Please carry one I want to know what happens now

I like it so far. But, you seem to focus only on dialogue when you introduce characters, giving them a static feel rather than a dynamic one. It moves from big, long paragraphs of action, to short, choppy dialogue lines.

Please continue, this is very good work. I really like your ability to "show" as you explain your story instead of just coming outright and saying what is happening. You did a great job writing, but be sure to pay attention to little grammatical things and experiment with different types of speaking verbs. Otherwise, everyone's just standing around talking like robots.

Thank you!

I love this story, but argh, I've spotted a typo-"deer", not "dear". :)