|Reviews for Betrayal|
| RaindropsOnBlackRoses 12/22/09 . chapter 1
great job with this one too :) my favorite lines were the first two and the last one, but especially the first two...keep writing!
| steffxnie 12/20/09 . chapter 1
Great opening line! I really like the way you ended it.
Your words are very well phrased. It's very powerful.
I can't write reviews properly, so I'm just dropping by to say I really enjoyed reading your work. Keep writing!
| Midnight In Eden 11/18/09 . chapter 1
I'm sorry, what? Why no reviews yet?
First of all, hell yeah enjambment. I loved literally every line break in this piece. And yes it's dense but for once every word is necessary and not just random filler.
I think what I like most about this is how stark the narrative is underneath all the exposition. You can almost see this couple at work within their truth/lies relationship and I like how you don't make it a black/white bad/good thing. I don't feel sympathy for the naive other in this poem but I don't quite feel wholehearted condescension towards them either and I think that you've pulled off the difficult "gray" area. Sure the last couplet gives off a tinge of malice but I don't know, this all works so well.
And that last couplet? Perfect climax. Just ... perfect.