|Reviews for It's A Business Doing Pleasure With You|
| TheGoddessPixie 9/8/10 . chapter 25
I loved this story, I laughed a little, cried a lot, and was happy for the somewhat happy ending... the only CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM I can offer is... Could you PLEASE try to keep the names straight? At points you were calling Kade Kole, and Kole Kade, and then you changed the last name to Carter instead of Harper... it kept a poor Pixie confused...
Other than that, I wouldn't change a thing.
| Abrasive 9/7/10 . chapter 25
First thing's first: It's CHESHIRE CAT, not 'chessy' or however else you spelled it - Cheshire. Is it really that difficult to Google it?
Now that's out of the way: This story was good, not great, there were a litany of spelling and grammar mistakes, as well as tense confusion and even name confusion (e.g. Connor's last name seemed to change between Radcliffe, Hildebrand and Hildebrandt). Consistency is one of the first things you should be working on; if a story is inconsistent, you lose credibility as a writer.
That said, your characters developed nicely, particularly the relationship between what's-their-faces. However, your plot was something of a letdown. There was so much dramatic tension you neglected to develop (for example, the threats from Kole's stepmother) and the eventual climax and conclusion were somewhat disappointing as a result. If you're going to address this in the sequel, well, good for you, but a sequel doesn't really seem necessary for this story and I personally wouldn't read it. Issues such as Kole's stepmother could have - and SHOULD have - been resolved in one story alone.
Anyway, to conclude, it needs a lot of work. It's a huge cliche competing against other huge cliches which have been done with more finesse and better spelling. Although I wouldn't read it a second time, it served as okay entertainment the first time around.
| Riley T 8/8/10 . chapter 1
sounds intresting can't wait to read more
| Novella Vialli 8/8/10 . chapter 25
| Country Princess 7/16/10 . chapter 25
I loved loved LOVED this!
| xsweetxtartx 7/13/10 . chapter 25
i just finished reading this entire story, and i loved every single moment of it!
| Name 7/11/10 . chapter 10
*FANGIRL SCREAM* you likey moulin rouge also ? O_O [ladies and gentlemen I think I have found a kindred spirit]
| ithinkyourgay 7/9/10 . chapter 8
great story so far. im curious as to what happens.
| Jeya 7/9/10 . chapter 25
You ROCK and I love your story so much that I didn't mind the errors at all! :D
| cratermaker 6/25/10 . chapter 25
Yay! I gets a sequel! This means that I will not cease to make you laugh, my dear friend. I have come to love your writing very much, and I am glad to know that I made you laugh. It made my day to know I made you happy. (Because a happy writer writes, am I WRITE? Okay, someone shoot me... That was terrible...)
Proud to review your work!
| cratermaker 6/25/10 . chapter 24
Oh, wow... -dazzled eyes- That was beautiful... TTwTT I am filled with joy! Their radiant love can finally shine truth on everything they pass by! -epic stance-
It's sad to think that it's over... You should make a sequel for me. :3 I will bring you many giggles once more.
| cratermaker 6/25/10 . chapter 23
No! Why is she still sticking with the whole "This is a fake marriage" thing! YOU LOVE HIM, DUMBASS! We're THERE! WE'VE REACHED THAT POINT!
| cratermaker 6/25/10 . chapter 22
I leave for Florida for a week and you explode with a good four chapters! Now I have to Review them all at once. Looks like you gets fits of lotsa giggles. :3
I'm loving the fudge gesture. That was really cute. And I loved the morning scene. SO CUTE! XD
| Farah 6/22/10 . chapter 25
Hey, im a late reader/reviewer. Nw, your story truly is gd, with a gd plot line n ur grammar is NT atrocious btw,(u shud see mine ;) ) bt there are a few mistakes here and there, like for example in the beginning u said noelle was majoring in egyption history n minorin in greek history, then when she met kole's family it was a business major with those tw subs as minors. and another thing in ur summary at the beginnin of the chap u mention her need for money to take over a failin coffee shop (correct me if im wrong) bt there were no mention f this in the story except as a brief future intention on her part. But apart from that it was all around gd, though i do wish there would be more darmatic issues (buts tt's just a personal preference)
Luv & Peace
| TooLazyToLogOntoFictionPress 6/21/10 . chapter 25
I really quite enjoyed this although there are a few plot holes, for example Kole's stepmother and her threats; I think you could have worked that in better, or taken it out since it really served no purpose. Also, with the fudge at Christmas dinner, you didn't really talk about it. I would've liked to see, maybe more of their reactions shown? Maybe the stepmothers happiness showing through? And Kole's friends, I would've really liked to have seen their relationship with Noelle grow. That's just my personal opinion though. As for his Hayley girl, I would personally like to see what she thinks is a good read. You have a few minor mistakes in grammar and spelling, but it happens to the best of us, there's nothing atrocious about it. Now if you wanted to read something really atrocious I'd recommend the Twilight saga, or Pride Prejudice and Zombies (talk about ruining timeless classics!). I do apologize if you enjoy those books but I myself dislike them immensely. I look forward reading more of your stories, good luck with your new endeavors, I'll be sure to review again. Unfortunately I won't be able to for a while since I'm supposed to be studying for exams. (I have a history one tomorrow, about ancient Greece actually! I think I made the right choice reading this, considering the role archeology plays in this. Sure I didn't really learn anything from it, but its still history right? Ha ha ha) Oh, and on a little side note, I really like the names you chose for your characters, that's always the part that gets me stuck, and then I end up wanting to change them in the middle of my story. I'm horrible at choosing names, ha ha. I've actually used generators to randomize the names for my characters, I'm bad, ha ha. Anyways since I managed to turn this into myself some how, I look forward to reading the rest of your work, if they're anything like this one I'm sure I'll enjoy them. After all, cliches and fluffiness is good once in a while.