Lovely moments/lines displayed here! :)

"My troubles flutter to the floor

Like snowflakes on the devil’s wings" - like that!

"The tatters flutter to the ground,

Fragments without any sound." - another great few lines. :)

Like snowflakes on the devil’s wings

- really like that imagery :)

Then the rhyming starts to shake

As deep inside me something breaks

- and love that bit!

Are you seriouly only 13? Very talented :)

i enjoyed this poem a lot. it has a great flow and i like the repetition of 'i try to piece together a forever'. very good (:

Great job, this is a great writing style. Keep it up.

Anna _