|Reviews for Life on the Other Side|
| Serendipitist Swan 10/9/10 . chapter 3
Like before, the chapter opener is kind of repetitive.
Anyway, I'm excited to see where the story will go from here. Your plot seems very original, despite the sorta overused subject matter.
The Lone Edit:
"You're my sister I'm supposed to watch out for you."
Should be: "You're my sister, I'm supposed to watch out for you."
| Serendipitist Swan 10/2/10 . chapter 2
The chapter wasn't really choppy, or at least not enough that I would notice. The beginning of this chapter sounds like the beginning of the last chapter though, so it's a bit boring.
Don't get me wrong. I did enjoy it.
The lone Edit:
"I wasn't doing anything, Jeth. They dragged me with."
Should be: "I wasn't doing anything, Jeth. They dragged me with them."
Or possibly: "I wasn't doing anything, Jeth. They dragged me along."
| Serendipitist Swan 10/1/10 . chapter 1
Oh, this reminds me a bit of an RP game I used to play. I love these kinds of stories because there's just so much potential in them. You can go all Lord of the Flies, Gone, or even Dr. Franklin's Island (read it!) and as long as you have good writing style, which you do, it's great.
*gasps* One review, what is this world coming to?
| Nick Lonewolf 1/2/10 . chapter 3
This is a good start to the story. I'm excited to see how this continues. While your main character seems to be Salana, you also focus on Ash quite a bit too. Maybe you could figure out how to focus on Ash more through Salana's point of view. Great start though.