Whoa...freaky. I really liked it, but I think that the creature needed more description. Did it look like a person, or was it more animal-like? Also, as the other reviewer said, the ending could use improvement. Overall, it was very good.

the creepiness was good, the idea was mostly original, I FUCKING LOVED YOUR STORY! i think if this is a stand alone, it needs more substance, and a better ending, one with that bite, the twist that leaves you with your jaw dropped. if this is the beginning of something more though, you cant stop writing, you cant... btw, i have added your story to my community, "Demonology & Eventuality:The Darker Side of a Sunset" as a way of promoting your story. great work!