|Reviews for Bite|
| brandi alexandra 6/26/12 . chapter 9
I was imagining this huge rescue and they were gonna steal a car and get away, but...that was ten times more humorous than I expected. Brownie points for the plot twist! XD
(And, since you asked, I'd love to see more interaction between Dolly and Kid. Seriously, Dolly intrigues me. Maybe it's the blue hair, or the fact that she's a pro with guns, but I love reading the little bits that involve her. You gotta tell us her story!)
| DutchAver 6/11/12 . chapter 12
I feel sorry for Dolly and all she's been through. I think you could spend more time on her as a character: she's got a lot of background, yet it's only off-handedly mentioned here. Are we going to find out more about her kid and why it died? Oh, maybe Kid is her daughter? Only speculating, now.
Now, they didn't go to the Queen just so they could enjoy a banquet, did they? This Queen is important in the plot, I think they're going there for more than just information. As for the Queen herself, she sounds like a bit of a crazy person.
Saint sounds like a good guy, TBH. The wastelands really need some justice and I don't care that there's no room for cannibals in a world with justice. The fact that the gang wants to destroy the radio tower tells me enough. They really are the bad guys. Will Kid make some kind of Heel Face Turn in the (hopefully failed) attempt of blowing up the tower?
| Golden Gecko 6/10/12 . chapter 4
I have been watching this story for awhile. Nicley written, grammer is spot-on, and not one spelling error that I can see of.
That's not why I am still reading it. All the fore mentioned is just pretty wrapping on a package. What is keeping me entertained is the characters, the story flow, and the perfect blend of story and description. Expertly written, expertly done. It's one of those stories that I feel privleged and happy that I have found.
And the author's not too bad too.
| DutchAver 5/7/12 . chapter 11
Again, forgot to take notes. Dammit. Why must you be such a good writer :'(
I'm glad that the gang is aware that they're the bad guys, and that they're certainly on the wrong side. I still hate them as a group, and I keep wondering what happened to the world that this is allowed to happen. Disgusting cannibalism. And why did Kid join them, again?
Very curious to find out about this queen and what kind of a role she plays. Is she one of the causes for this disaster, or a product of it?
Great writing. Let's see, am I going to put this on alert?
See you at the next chapter :D
| DutchAver 5/7/12 . chapter 10
When it comes to this story, I constantly think 'oh, yes, I know what's going to happen' and then, something completely different happens. I love reading unpredictable work: in Dutch, there's a saying: being put on the wrong leg. It means being fooled. This story constantly puts me on the wrong leg, and I love it :)
This chapter was pretty eventful: normally, I take notes during reading for a review and then I write the review, patching all those notes together. This chapter was so eventful and exciting that I completely forgot to take notes O.o
I wonder where the gang was supposed to be going, and where they are going now. Who was so willing to meet them alive? Who saved their lives? Or is it the same person responsible for the raids, in which at least Kid has been kidnapped? (No pun intended)
So many questions and so little answers. Meaning that I HAVE to review the next chapter. Oh yes, you're getting two reviews today :)
| DutchAver 5/1/12 . chapter 9
I love things that make a story unique, and this was without a doubt a very unique chapter :') I love how Kid isn't bright enough to think up a proper plan that would involve a succeeded rescue, and I chuckled when I found out Kid and Tank accidentally raided the mayor's house. I know, it's supposed to be sad and all, but I was actually laughing. Sorry.
I wonder what the gang's going to do to be set free. What kind of a clever plan will they think up, now that the whole gang's complete? Will they get help from the outside, in some way? I really wonder what's going to happen in the next chapter.
Keep writing! And I'm still (probably vainly) hoping for a returned review for I Never ;)
| DutchAver 4/26/12 . chapter 8
The shelter with water, which was found by Kid, sounds a lot like a Deus Ex Machina. Mind you, I said sounds a lot like, because I think it's not that simple. I think that shelter's going to come back in some form, why else would you mention the body?
I was seriously worried that you killed Tank O.o I am so glad to find out that he's still alive. So far, no-one's been killed, and now the gang's facing hanging. Part of me hopes they won't survive, but I guess they will.
Are we going to find out more about the post-apocalyptic nature of this story? Can't wait! Your writing style's really good D
| Dreamers-Requiem 4/21/12 . chapter 11
As usual with your stuff, I don't have any criticism for this. (You have only yourself to blame.) Really good chapter - good mix of action, dialogue and, well, sort of calm moments. I like how Kid tries to be sort of kick ass, but doesn't quite manage to do it. It keeps her character down to earth and realistic. Interactions between characters are great as always; I really like Wolf, and Dolly. Pretty Boy...well, he's just pathetic, and I think that works really well to counteract the others. Tank, especially. It may just be me, but I feel like there's the possibility of 'something more', so to speak, growing between Kid and Tank. Especially because he's pretty much the opposite of Pretty Boy. Anyway, yeah, really, really enjoyed it. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| DutchAver 4/20/12 . chapter 7
How can Kid travel with these guys without being troubled by her conscience? It still bothers me how they raid towns, treat other people(eat them) and yet Kid travels with them without any troubles. The story even treats them like the good guys, and it bothers me.
I seriously believed Tank would die, by the way - I was glad Kid walked back to him to save him. Suddenly, everyone has to fend for themselves when death is a risk. Tank apparently comes back for Kid... I wonder what will happen next. Will they see this queen-figure?
Still very much wondering where you're getting at :)
| lookingwest 4/12/12 . chapter 8
That ENDING. UNF.
Talk about plot dude, LOVED IT. This is why this story is in my favorites, this right here, whoop!
Such a great moment with the lizard at the beginning! I have no bad things to say about this at all so yeah, just gotta start with that before I get too into the praise, lol. But yeah, loved the lizard scene it was funny to me when Kid's like "well i'm gonna die now", which I suppose I shouldn't think that's funny but I did, so it was a good moment of dark humor on the situation.
I felt like the way you segued from the lizard to the bunker was realistic. Kid's our protagonist so there had to be a way out and this one was excellent. I loved the depth of having someone dead inside too, it makes sense and I like how Kid worked out what probably happened. It really shows that type of dire situation happening all around them, but also it becomes so ironic because the hatch was SO close to Blackfort.
I liked the scene with the guards and the questioning. It's good Kid had Tank with her-the two of them were really meant to be together it seems, because they worked that real smooth. Goes to show that sticking together has its pay offs, especially by the end when you find out the rest of the crew is screwed. Kid really shouldn't try to save them after them leaving but of course she'll at least die trying, XD.
Can't wait to find out what happens...so good!
| lookingwest 4/12/12 . chapter 7
Eep, it's been awhile. I'm happy to see this story is getting the love it deserves though!
I enjoyed the two paragraphs start for this chapter. It settled me back into Kid's character and I loved the image of her sleeping between the Tank and Dolly. Also liked the mention of Wolf snoring. It just gave me this cool almost cinematic image of all of them and it was a great way to start things off!
Oh man oh man, the second scene when they're all walking there and the water...that just made me feel so sympathetic and sad for everyone involved. What a downer. The emotion there was perfect. At first I wasn't sure what exactly had happened, but I think that went the same for Kid so our reactions were very similar which was excellent...but also really sad. I feel tremendously terrible for Tank right now. And even Pretty Boy when he loses the water, my heart went out to him. It was just really well done and I also loved the dialogue concerning the plan, XD. It was amusing but also foreshadows what will most likely happen to the group of them. Poor Kid, the first friends she finds and she's screwed :/
The third part - yay Kid! So glad that Kid gives Tank some water. Loved the scene. I like how everyone was deathly silent about it to. I think you've got such complex characterization going on since it's an every-man/woman-for-themselves atmosphere and you still have to portray this bond between these people. It has to be hard for them-I bet they all have really bad PTSD, well...yeah of course they do, XD. But I think that also allows them to displace themselves from situations like Tank's and react with distance. I found it believable and full of depth.
And that ending - AWW T_T Poor Kid! I love that Tank is at least helping out though! That's great. It already shows Kid is mixing things up with this group and I can't wait to see what else she does to change them. The developments continue to thicken and I love seeing that. This is a wonderful story and I've always loved it very much. I can't wait to see what happens and this chapter really built up the excitement of what will happen next too. Even though I know Kid will live, I keep thinking: but what's going to almost-kill-her next? D:
| DutchAver 4/10/12 . chapter 6
The pace of your story is slow, often telling us what's happening in the group - so far, the real plot hasn't started. I like the slow pace, though - the group has a lot of members and it's tough to get used to everyone.
I wonder who this queen is: is she the start of the 'real' plot and the end of the introduction? I am curious to what else you're going to do.
The group still terrifies me, and how they are cannibals. I'm sure that they have their reasons, but it's still disgusting. What kind of apocalypse and war caused this all?
Very curious to read about the rest! When are you going to return the reviews?
| DutchAver 3/30/12 . chapter 5
Stupid exams... I've been really busy in the past, so I didn't have time to review earlier. But here I am!
I had to read back a little so that I could understand this chapter. Kid now travels with the sharks and gets caught? I like the action, though I'd like to see the reason behind it. It feels a bit pointless otherwise - I'd like to see a bit more of the people they're fighting against.
The sharks still disgust me, but I'm pretty certain that that's your intention. It's disgusting how they eat human flesh, and I just don't understand Kid's decision to travel with them.
There are no casualties on the side of the sharks, right? They really sound like villains, which is why the set-up of this story is so interesting.
Looking forward to reading more!
| Viera Wing 3/23/12 . chapter 11
This chapter is so fast-paced and yet it's still held within the same situation the entire time (not counting the very last part). You'd think that not really moving on within the same chapter might get boring, but this was not the case at all. I thought this was both exciting and funny. It certainly held some aspects that I did not expect: I don't think Kid losing her finger is normal for a main character. Poor Kid... I wonder how different things can get?
Back to the review. I really like how funny you've described things. Throwing cans at people, haha. Also, albeit a little discreetly, we see a little of the others in their way of battle. Dolly's like the trained swordswoman, Tank's just like his namesake, Pretty Boy the coward and Wolf being probably a more graceful, skilful version of Tank. Something like that anyway. Very nice.
My only concern is the part where Kid and Dolly are exchanging weapons. Kid's only lost her pinky, so there's still mobility in her hand. But she's also had her palm pierced through. I should think that that'll make it difficult for her to grab things (though I'm no medical expert). So, you know, she's still holding her gun when she takes the knife from Dolly, presumably with the wounded hand, and has the strength to hold it and wipe it clean...
But anyway, glad you updated. Good work!
| witch22 3/18/12 . chapter 2
The story is very different from what I have read till now.
The action you narrated in this chapter was very good.
About the meat, Yuck! sorry vegetarian habit. I tried my best not to visualize the image you provided, but I failed.