|Reviews for Winter Lovers|
| dragonflydreamer 5/14/10 . chapter 1
Celtic, I'm guessing? You mentioned Brigid, so that's what I'm assuming.
You captured the essence perfectly. Your descriptions of nature are so beautiful and so free it's as if you captured their culture along with it. "somber blackening cloud eyes shed snow tears" and "sun-soaked summer days" were my favorite descriptions.
The message of this is also great. The whole cycle of rebirth is so thought-provoking.
I have mixed feelings about the rhyme. Honestly, I didn't read the summary, so I didn't even notice the rhyme the first time. I tend to like unusual rhyme schemes, but especially with your descriptions, it becomes lost.
Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| Phoebe Melinda Halliwell 12/27/09 . chapter 2
| Phoebe Melinda Halliwell 12/27/09 . chapter 1
| Isca 12/27/09 . chapter 2
The first line is 9 syllables long instead of 10. I do like the description "cougar eyes" though.
The second line is 8 syllables long instead of 10.
"Holding me pinned / to your bed." Excellent use of enjambment.
"Under duress." The der/dur connection here is quite crafty.
I liked the Fae and forest glen imagery the best. Keep up the good work. :)
| Isca 12/27/09 . chapter 1
"Trekking through this forest path, well-worn." This line is 9 syllables instead of 10.
"My beloved, when we lay by the fire." I may be wrong, but I think the word "fire" is two syllables; if so, this line is 11 syllables long instead of 10.
"With Mars' vitality and not tire." I think this line is 11 syllables long too.
Anyways, that was the nit-picky stuff. Now onto the actual review. :)
"Brilliant azhure sky fading to grey. Somber blackening cloud." I love that grey faded into black (autumn turned into winter, I suppose; age into death).
I liked your allusions to Mars and Brigid. Nice mixture of Roman and Celtic Mythology!
"Trekking through this forest path, well-worn." I like your use of 'trekking' here - it heightens the imagery.