Okay, first off, wow. This was beautiful. This read like music itself. Honestly, it felt like I was listening to an improv solo. The use of alliteration and assonance further added to the melody of this piece. I found myself speeding up and slowing down while reading – in a good way. I don’t know how to describe it. Honestly, this piece was like music, it was magnificent. I can’t even describe it. I’m becoming angry with myself here because I really want you to know how wonderful I thought this piece was. Writing about music certainly is NOT impossible. You just proved that. Rather effectively too, might I add.

Liana

The imagery is really beautiful. You described the night so wonderfully. I am lacking the words to phrase my thoughts... Anyway, I love beautiful poems like this.

My favorite lines are:

"The notes built, found voices of their own, and belted out brazen, impish trills before once again subsiding."

&

"for there is no shame in creeping by night if you are dancing."

Gorgeous poem.

Kalista Jia

This is really good. I loved the vivid imagery you provided with such few words. Excellent! I also didn't think you could describe music this way. You've made the impossible, possible!

"Darkness was beginning to creep in from the corners of the world, painting the night with watercolors." - Loved this line!

I like this because the imagery was beautiful. You created the images so easily, and I could see everything you described.

On the flip side, I didn't like the fact that you seemed to go off on completely random thoughts at points during this piece, when I felt it wasn't needed.

There were also a few typos and spelling errors, but nothing major.

Wow, you're amazing! I read through this like a long piece of poetry, the atmosphere created at the beginning really intrigued me; I wasn't expecting anything to happen, and indeed there is no plot per se, but the imagery was dynamic and interesting. I didn't dig too deep into this & try to look for a meaning, indeed the mere language is enjoyable enough!

Btw I noticed the motto in your intro - it reminds me of Virginia Woolf's Orlando: "Life and a lover." :D