|Reviews for Thread Breaker: Pomeroy's Caveat|
| Brenda Agaro 1/17/10 . chapter 4
I like the realism at the beginning of chapter four. Good job with the sensory details. In chapter five, I like Winn. I just admire strong female characters. XD Again, your details are necessary and didn't drag on, even during the hunt scene. I actually chuckled during the part in chapter six, when Elrec asked Adam if he would like to smoke. At first, I mistook it as an anachronism (I was thinking of cigarettes), but then I got it. XD
I hope to read the rest soon when you're able to post them. This is an interesting story so far.
And you're welcome. I used to take a Piano class, but I still suck at playing the keyboard. XP
| Brenda Agaro 1/5/10 . chapter 1
Hi! Good to see that you're back! XD
Well, I haven't read Thread Breaker, so I'll try my best in my review for the first three chapters of the prequel.
In chapter one, I thought that it's an interesting beginning, even if it's a bit vague (but I'm not good at beginnings either...). The characters seem a tad sketchy to me. I don't know if that's intentional (to add more description about them as the story progresses.) There's little to no physical description. It could just be me, but it was hard to picture them when reading, other than with their personalities. Then again, you said that this is a "bad" fantasy novel, but so far I'm interested in reading more. I like how you didn't start off with long paragraphs about the world, people, etc. like some fantasy authors. The description wasn't flowery either, although some sentences feel like skeletons; there's not enough meat to see what's happening, even during the dialogue. In chapter two, the setting of Lord Von's manor was vague (of course I know what a manor looks like, but necessary description could help.) I'm not sure if it's intended to leave the word building vague and not include important details in dialogue [ex: the gods - religion] - or will it be written in the later chapters?
In chapter three, I like dialogue with the Great Zaevotr. I like how you add the s's in for his speech. I think the part about the fire at the beginning could be elaborated. It feels kind of rushed. Maybe sensory details could help (connect the smell and heat of the fire; use a simile, etc.)
I like your author's note at the beginning. I just personally think that people should write for fun more than to "analyze" life. Don't get me wrong, I like literary (although I'll admit that some of the books in the genre can be boring, especially for English class), but writing doesn't mean playing psychologist every time. I remembered reading in an author's note in "Love After" (which I'll catch up on, I promise) that you were struggling with writer's block. Well...my creative writing professor told me that there's really no such thing as a "block." Writers just need to read and write whatever - even if it sucks. There's time to come back to it later and edit. Yeah...just want to let you know that. If someone already told you, then feel free to hit me with a baseball bat. XP
I'm going to admit that names with apostrophes irk me. I mean, my real name is hard to pronounce, to be honest, but names in fantasy with apostrophes throw me off. Sorry, but that's just me! But I'll still read this! XD But obscure and foreign names are cool with me (I have the tendency to use them when writing fantasy/sci-fi.) I was actually confused with Aecae’votr and Aecaevoc - call me slow, but are they the same? But so far there's only one name with an apostrophe, so maybe you're refering to later on in the story or is it just the obscure names? Sorry, I'm confused. And for some reason, the beginning of the first chapter reminded me of the Japanese anime "Naruto" (with the jumping from tree to tree (?) ). Or is that just me? :/
Sorry for the rambling here. DX I know that this review is long, but I just happen to have some free time...
Most of this is just my opinion, so feel free to disregard.