|Reviews for Long Sleeves|
| thewhimsicalbard 1/14/10 . chapter 1
This is a pretty darn good poem! It didn't have any of the sing-song quality I've seen in your poetry before, which was a welcome improvement.
I liked the message too. You have no idea how much this is me in a nutshell.
Now, I do have to critique something. That something is your rhythm. The lines don't flow together very well. I think you should go back and work on lines and paragraphing and punctuating (and possibly even use/lack-of-use of the following: the/this/that/a/an/etc). When you read it, it should be flowing. Flow is the Man.
Good piece of work here. It isn't quite up to my standards to give it a favorite, but it's really close!