|Reviews for Hidden|
| FlyingThroughDreams 4/12/10 . chapter 3
Haha, I love the "huh" :D
Haha, this is pretty funny! A nice break from the more...serious, you know? I like it!
You did a pretty good job explaining the game- I understood it pretty much right away.
So, it's called "Deadlock"? I would suggest you change that in the other chapter, then. ;)
Whoa. So they won!
I'm not going to say that the contest was rushed...sure, it was over pretty fast, but I mean, there's not much you could do!
I checked the "updates" thing and I see you haven't updated in a while. Well, I hope you can soon!
Oh, and a little side note? I've read all of your stories on back over there in the 39 clues archive, and I have to say, it's nice to see some of the work you've written yourself!
FlyingThroughDreams (or LucianWriter77)
| FlyingThroughDreams 4/12/10 . chapter 2
Huh. Well, this was pretty good!
I was a little confused when you got to the explaining part, about the after life, or whatever? Yeah- you might have written that so it was a little bit clearer...it was all very serious, you know?
Sorry, I don't have any suggestions for the name. :( But I'm sure you'll think of something!
| FlyingThroughDreams 4/12/10 . chapter 1
Wow! This was really...dramatic! The colours at the end were very well done- they brought the reader into the story perfectly- especially the ending.
Beautiful! Well done!
| Arastel 3/5/10 . chapter 2
So far this is great, I hope that the emotion is so gripping and noticable throughout the thing. I didn't really see anything that I didn't like, so happy writing.
| teenage mutant ninja writer 1/16/10 . chapter 3
hey, im here too :), cool story, unique plot, very nice.
| Lee Daniel 1/12/10 . chapter 3
This was a very interesting chapter. I always love it when a story supplies a question and then makes you wait for the answer. I also like the name that you decided on for the game. The deadlock has a very catchy ring to it.
| CassandraRose526 1/11/10 . chapter 2
I'm pretty bad at figuring out names. Maybe something like, The Game of Chance. Urgh! Like I said . . . terrible. But I liked this chapter, I would be interested in reading more. I like this idea of Borderline and that the story begins with her already dead. I hope that we maybe get to figure out why she was targeted to die. Unless it just had to do with her father being wealthy. But I'm interested to see what her life is like . . . after death.
| CassandraRose526 1/11/10 . chapter 1
Wow. This is a really intense beginning. I like how you make an unlocked door suddenly seem dangerous. I love the repetition of blood and black and darkness and red and then how you conclude with white, which makes me think of death.
| Lee Daniel 1/11/10 . chapter 2
Wow, the first two chapters are very imaginative. I liked your description of death in the prologue as well as the after life in chapter one. I don't have any ideas on what you could change the name of the game to, but I look forward to reading more.
| Sam 1/10/10 . chapter 1
Seen it. Read it. Have the t-shirt.
| sw13 1/10/10 . chapter 2
*whistle. I really hope that dosn't happen to me when i die. I'm not good at game shows. lol. I think your name for the names are fine. Maybe take out the living part. Looking forward to the rest.
| WriterOnTheMove 1/10/10 . chapter 2
i really like your use of repetition in the beginning, it kind of gave me an surge of suspense, which willed me to read more.
I really like this story, keep the updates coming :)
| sealednectar 1/10/10 . chapter 2
I think you've categorised it right. It's definitely mysterious. I'm really bad at coming up with names and I don't know what this game's about so...'The Battle of the Dead', 'Battle of the Breath', 'A Matter of Life and Death', 'Deadlock'...don't know. Great so far. Keep it up:)
| Dante's Disciple 1/10/10 . chapter 1
A gripping prologue but so short! Look forward to an update real soon to make sense of it all :)
Also, can't really help you catagorize as I don't really know much of what's going on, mystery seems to work though :)
| Warning-I Am Me 1/10/10 . chapter 1
please write more. i REALLY like this story