| Reviews for Eskimos and Butterflies |
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lipleaf 1/8/11 . chapter 1One thing I might recommend is unitalisizing the "safety pins, lighters, and razors" part. The emphasis that's put on there feels a bit awkward and jarring, like it's being overdone. It's not major, but perhaps something to consider. I like the fact that you write from both points of view. It's interesting to see the curiosity and ignorance of the first speaker and the contrast between the second speaker's tone and her actions. Your characterization is nice. The dialogue is a nice touch. |
Plej 1/21/10 . chapter 1I liked this piece because well it seemed childish to me but yet dark at the same time. A lot of people when they were kids get hurt and want the pain kissed away i see that (i usually smack them since i'm mean, hahaha just kidding). But then here you go explaining the hidden fact that this person is abusing themselves just to feel that bit of love. Very extreme. Good "plot" to this poem. And the pace was nice too, along with the punctuation to help guide the reader through. |
Isca 1/11/10 . chapter 1"'That's the only reason you show me those isn't it?'" This line is adorable (and yet, the speaker is correct in wondering where the child gets all of her injuries from). "I smile and make sure the safety pins, razors and lighters are always hidden." Wow. I love the way in which you described the 'child' and the 'adult' version of the speaker within the poem (and her underlying motives). That's pretty interesting stuff. |
white rainbow 1/11/10 . chapter 1I like this, I can't explain why though. Nice piece. Write on. ;) |