Beautiful. Stimulating. Inspiring. Fluid. Meaningful. Frightening. Salient. Unique. Hells yeah.

wow, i love the rhythm in this. good job! it really did make my breath catch :)

when i read this, i thought about how my girlfriend has scars on her shoulders from cutting ("on these shoulders? ... bonded in scars") and i like the double innuendo, even if you didn't mean it, haha.

most lines seemed rather cliche, in an armageddon/romance/fantasy way,

but the last two were great:

"what's more weight on these shoulders?

bonded in scars, we break this link"

i'd love to know the meaning behind this one

This is beautiful. Extremely, tremendously, mind-blowingly beautiful, in an eerie and somewhat morbid way. I love it.

the words you use and how you string them together has this otherworldly feel to it. you have talent.

I like the flow. As if a base drum, it goes on unaffected by the poem.

I like how you gave contrast to the poem, "waves crash" vs "our world is on fire".

The rhyme seems a little broken though. I see some rhymes here and there, but they are not evident.

Fav:

Thouhts (spelling error here) die, lights dim

weakness is harder than strength

what's more weight on thiese shoulders

honded in scars, we break this link.

Your poem seems to run on a stanza form just that you lumped them all together.

I can't seem to find my words.

wow... beautiful. i love it. you've got this style that i really envy. i would love opinions from you on some of my newer works!

This carries such a wonderful rhythm. Lovely.

"the edges of our view blur

tied down by desire"

"weakness is harder than strength

what's more weight on these shoulders?

bonded in scars, we break this link"

I always love reading your work :)

stars caught in a bottle

- adore that line. I love the contrast between the far off beauty of the stars and then how they are now attainable but in a tragic trapped kind of way, all locked away for spectators...

Grar! I want to be able to write like this! Keep it up!