What you have feels like a really great skeleton for a story. Unfortunately, the misspellings and grammatical errors break up the flow and make it difficult to get through, and the descriptions could be filled out a lot more. Many sections felt rushed as well.

I would love to see you develop their relationship, with more work seeing through both POVs. If you felt like developing in a serious edit, I would also suggest going in depth with the new relationship with Parker. Spend chapters on it. Make the reader feel torn between the two, sincerely. Describe her thoughts on both, and pace it so that the ending feels right.

Great job coming up with what you have, though. It is a very original piece.

Wow, I wish this was longer T_T

But this is a very well written story.

I loved every minute I read it. :D

Somehow I missed the emails that the last two chapters were posted. I think you should not have watered down the scene where satan rips out his heart. If people don't like gore they can skim it. but good ending, I was skeptical at the end of 15 but the epilogue made it ok.

AWW he came back for her! Yeah! I have to say I now feel bad for parker...and how can a person have 2 soulmates...I mean i'm kinda confused. Did Noah strike-up a deal with Satan so that he could be her soulmate again? Anyway you were right...I am happy with the ending and that they got together. XD

So just to make this clear...I just read this whole romance between Noah and Karen just so you could give her another soulmate? Gr...I can't believe its done! I hope the epilogue makes me feel better. And I don't like Parker!lol XD

aw, poor noah. Wait, if tearing out his heart and soul means he CANT have karen WHY IS HE AGREEING TO IT!

Really...Really? R u serious? That was just evil...btw I knew he was her soulmate..apparently not anymore (i think). Haha! So he was becoming human(that reminded me of Hancock. With the whole when you find your soulmate you start becoming human). And he actually told him to do that? Can't wait for the next update!

Oh that's just mean! You leave it right when he's gonna explain...I'm watching u from now on...!

Hiya! Yes you are dragging this out because I really want to hear from Noah! Anyway, I liked how Karen had a realistic perspective about their 'relationship'. As in, I wouldn't have believed that she was in love with him, and I'm glad she pointed out that she grew feelings for him. Even though it was because he wouldn't leave her alone. Anyway..next time, Noah plz! lol.

Aww, Karen seems to finally care about Noah..And so we're closer to figuring out what Noah is eh? I can't wait to see what's wrong with him.

P.s

I still think they're soulmates!

Oh! What's going on with Noah? I liked how you described the pain he was going through. And I found this line to be very ironical and hilarious coming especially from Noah:

'...JESUS HELP ME PLEASE' really? Satan's little helper calling on Jesus...(I know he probably meant it as more of an expression...but still!) lol.

Anyway, you just have basic mistakes like grammar, punctuation and run-on sentences (like most of us just proofread). And I know how it feels to see all those hits and no review. Don't give up though!

Anywho great update! I can't wait to find out what's wrong with Noah. XD

Yep, I'm stil guessing about Karen and her 'skills'. Scary...

And Noah needs to stop cursing her because its annoying since he doesnt know her. And isn't he caring...Is Karen his 'soulmate' mayhaps? Anywhoo great update! XD

Great chapter! I can't wait to find out the rest.

My only suggestion to you is to proofread, (I need to do it too!) your chapters. You have a few simple mistakes all over. Also, when you write your dialogues, you tend to end them with a period instead of a comma. Like: "'Karen.' I say.."

There should be a comma after Karen. I would really like you to develop Karen's character some more, because I can't get a feel for her. But, the story is still in its early stage. Aside from that, I do like Noah. I like how you're developing his personality.

He is coldhearted and cruel, but I still like him (good job). I don't fully understand, however, why he's so obsessed over her. (Because of her soul maybe?).

Anyway, interesting story so far!

Whoa! The beginning kinda threw me off there for a second, with her rant about her love for crayons. And then when she said, "I kill people." Haha! Loved it! Because at the same time I was like where is she going with her rant? And then after that line, I was like, oh, now it makes sense. I already feel bad for her. I'm so glad I'm not in her shoes...scary! This chapter really caught my attention...excellent! (I'm sure there are mistakes I could point out, but I wasn't looking for any so..) XD

Noah has major anger issues, and still freaks me out. Karen is being rather bitchy though, you don't make out with someone and then ignore them the next day.