Wow...so he's a ninja now? X) these ppl...gosh whats wrong with them...can't wait for the next chapter though :P

Oh hey, an update :D

Hmm well it got a little dialogue heavy in some parts, and I'm not so sure the italics were necessary since it could definitely pass as dialogue as well, but I don't think it makes a huge difference.

It robots could feel fear; this one did,

-edit: maybe you mean 'if', and if that's the case, the semicolon should be a comma.

But it's pretty interesting how there are all these different theories as to Archangel's background and all. And heheh the bit at the end was nice :]

;;w;; You even included the little smiley. xD

THIS WAS BOMB!

*-*

Archangel

Lol wow hes SO AWKWARD when nervous...

HE'S ARCH ANGEL! :O i dont think he really has superpowers, he just has the stuff. Sigh.

I like this take on a superhero story. Seems like a good beginning to this story. I hope to see more. :)

Jacob is a awesome dude. He's Archangel, but then how did he get the pictures of himself. Anways good story, the dialogue was very interesting and kept me hooked. I didn't particularly like Jean but Jacob was so cute round her. Your descriptions were pretty good two, and I liked the action when Archangel kicked those dudes asses. Anyways great stuff dude, I enjoyed it.

FlaminInk(from the gossip forum)

This was a really good read! The story wasn't hard to follow and wasn't too extreme either.

Those bank robbers were really sick, though. Like, bad-sick. But pathetic as well.

Some edits I'd like to suggest:

"the news reporter gave him mike to Betty"

- "gave HIS mike"

"I have to go take pictures for the newspaper! Archangel might appear two! Just look over Ch. 15 while I'm gone, okay?"

- "Archangel might appear TOO!"

- I suggest writing "chapter" in its full form

It's a great story you've got here so far, and I really do hope you post more. It's exciting stuff!

OMG! I totally love Jacob! How he gets all nervous and shy, it's so cute! Why would Jean turn on the TV while she's studying?... Anyways, those criminals were freaks, and I was glad when they got their butts kicked. Archangel is an awesome name for a superhero, and I loved the ending. Good story! D

Hey, nice take on a superhero story. It can seem a bit similar to other stories like it, but your hero's at least a bit different. I'd like to see some more!

Hey man, great story. I like the concept you're using. There's a lot of potential there, it would be awesome if you expanded on this and made it into a actual story/book.

Two constructive critisims:

1) Early in the story you wrote the line:

""Hey Jacob. Come on in," she smiled. Jacob did so, and as he did, she thanked him for tutoring him today in Chemistry."

The 2nd "him" should be a "her". Otherwise you're calling Jean a dude.

2) When Archangel begins attacking the mobsters one starts yelling "game over man! game over!". I'm not sure why, but this doesn't sit well with me. It doesn't feel like it belongs, like a mobster would be saying this. I could be way off base on this one mind you, this is mostly personal opinion.

Would love some feedback on my story as well. Preferbly "Girl Troubles". Please and Thank You.