I screamed in my friend's ear when I saw the email (I was on the phone) that you'd updated. She was more than a little confused. haha.

Being your little helper, I'm here to help a few things that I caught.

I had worked at the pizza parlor for three weeks now, and Daniel and I had a mutual agreement. I wouldn't accuse him of being a *murder* and what he was going to do I didn't remember, but he insisted that since we were co-workers, we had to get along If you didn't catch what I was trying to say, murder means someone was murdered. You were trying to say murderer, meaning the criminal. It confuses us all!

"I will-"I shrugged, looking around the mall for nothing specific" someday, when I have time Quotations are tricky, and after you end a quote put a space behind it. At the end of a quotation (i.e.) "'He was going to the mall,' he said." always, ALWAYS, put a comma if it would end in a period. If it ends in an exclaimation mark or questionmark then it's fine. And the "He said" is always lower case if it's indiciating who was talking. Now, if it's an "I" then feel free to keep it capital.

He looked actually shocked to say the least" A period at the end of this one that doesn't have a "he/she said" after it.

Helpful? HOPE SO! UPDATE SOON!

Stella

lmao this story made my day

haha the end of this chapter made me laugh :P

Omigosh, that guy...I thought his name was Daniel? I was like, "Who the hell is David? Oh, maybe I need to recap."

Haha, so UPDATE SOON!

I love that you're adding more details on the characters too!

Stella

CUTE! _

A funny story and a very charming girl. I read, laugh and enjoy myself. Can't wait till Monday.

quirky i love it

Loved it! I think that this was a very piecing-together-chapter(?). It had a lot more information than the others! I like how I can relate with Olivia, because I also have an older brother that acts like he is hot stuff(which he isn't), and I miss time with him(never admitting that to his face though)... Ok so I think that will be enough of my wonderful rambling!-not very wonderful is it?

I can't wait 'til the next chapter,

SE(:

Okay, VERY nice. I liked her brother more than I'd originally thought. That Daniel guy -ROFL. Can't wait for him to show up again, he made everything funnier in this story. KEEP WRITING!

Stella

UPDATE ASAP!

UPDATE ASAP!

Haha! I love how Olivia will just have sudden outburst, like screaming fire! I can tell that this is going to be a really good story. Keep up the good work, and the funniness(is that a word? add shrug here)

Hope you update soon,

SE(:

p.s. I'll be waiting

p.p.s. I am not a creeper(-.-;)

Trust me, you made my day. "It was a painful time for me, when everybody thought I was actually white… PAINFULL I tell you!" *Dies of laughter* Oh, my lordy lord that made me laugh so hard. And then when she ran out screaming blood murder? PRICELESS. I really like this story so far, as for the name...I'll have to read more to "help" you if you'd like.

Stella

This story was good, even if I have no idea what's going on. To save you from flame-reviews I'll give you a piece of advice. EXPLAIN EVERTHING except rocks and useless stuff. Like Olivia and her brother, any good memories you'd like to share with the class? Janet, did Olivia notice something different about her (besides the height thing)? Where's Olivia's parents?

Stuff to consider, and stuff that I'm STILL trying to perfect without being boring. *Sigh* Can't have it all.

I really love you're story so keep it up!

Stella