I like it...we can feel the hurt, the emptiness...wondering when will it end.

This piece has a nice flow to it, a sing song cadance. What i really liked (besides how well the rhyming scheme was) were the line in each paragraph. How they went, short-long-short-long. It went very well with the overall poem. Nicely done.

Nice...

You might be better served writing this as prose piece.