Do the horses imprint on people like the werewolves do in Twilight? Wait, have you read Twilight?

This is pretty good so far, but there are SEVERAL gramatical issues that need to be fixed. Most of them are easily remedied, but some of them are a style thing. You have been using way too many commas and that is very confusing. Punctuation is there to help the reader, and, quite frankly, it's not helping as much as hindering. I'm not saying every sentence is like that, but a lot of them are and I have to read them several times before I get what you are trying to say. Once I do that, though, I really like the story.

A bit of advice from a fellow writer: Don't demand reviews and say that you won't post any more chapters if you don't get enough reviews. You are writing to write, and you're not writing for anybody other than youself. It doesn't matter how many people read it. There will always be more people to discover you story later on. You posted it up here to get advice, right? Demanded advice is not good advice. Trust me. I know from experience. Write for yourself. Put it up here as an after thought.

I've also noticed that you have a lot of A/N to help out the reader. You should put this in the story so those notes don't exist. You don't see too many notes in normal fantasy books. That's simply because it's the writer's job to explain everything in the story.

Anyway, I'm being super critical. I hope I didn't hurt your feelings or keep you from writing. I love your story so far, and your writing style is very good. You give me a good read every time.

Lily

I seriously LOVE this story :D Echo is so awesome [shame on Cloud for lying!] And I'm glad D'naal has come back. I missed him

Please update soon!

Hi stories going great hope u can get your computer up and running (making spiral bound copy of your story for my book collection) I don’t have much time to be on my brotherhood says hi. Hope ta runescape ya soon

-Your shadows brother

Wow! A dragon! If Echo rides a dragon I will be SUPER happy. xD That would be like the most freaking amazing thing in the world, haha! Her clan needs to get those gems too so they can talk to her. Is she going to live with the wolves now? That would be sweet, we need some romance!

Like the book so far; stopped reading it but then came back and read the entire thing in one goe. Can't wait for next chapter! :)

-Solenklier

Hi, Allebasii told me you needed more reviews, and the request was in all caps, so here I am.

So far I think you've got a pretty good story, though it could've used a little more exposition in the beginning - it kind of felt like I was getting dropped into this world I knew nothing about, though you've done well explaining the 'rules' of this world in subsequent chapters. It was just a little confusing at first.

So am I right in understanding that Echo's and Fell's father was a god in disguise, Caersiph? And he knew she would be different, though everyone else in her clan thinks she's just unsentient; odd that they would think that while others like D'naal and the Traders recognize her intelligence. And I'm curious as to why Rakill especially seems to have it in for her.

Well keep up the good work; I'll continue to read and review although I don't have a Fictionpress account. If you feel like replying to my reviews you can PM me thru Fanfiction.

Loved the story. Great plotline and charaters! Update soon please!

It's just a couple of things, you spelt "casually" as "casualty" and I think you may may have mixed "though" and "thought" up but as I said it's not too serious.

Anyways I hope you gat your computer fixed, I think I would get very twitchy if I didn't have mine.

Graet chapter by the way, nice cliff hanger.

I really like this story, the only thing is that sometimes the spelling is a bit off, but other than that it's really good, well kept me reading anyway.

good chapter. other than that i got nothin to say. well except GET YOUR COMPUTER FIXET CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING TO TO DO AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE BECAUSE MY PARENTS NO LONGER LET ME BUNGEE JUMP I'M LOOSING MY MIND!

your friend

your shadows brother

I love your story so far, although it gets kinda confusing in some parts. Im a shape shifter writer, myself, and i absolutely love what you are doing. I cant wait until the next chapter and the one after that, and the one after that. if your thinking about publishing your book, i kind of suggest DESCRIBING your world a little bit more, like the colors, and just minor details. Even if your world is exactly like Earth or not, i think the scenery could use just a tad more detail. your in the 9th grade, right? Well, that's really awesome, saying the way you write for a ninth grader is awesome. Im in the 10th this year, and i get compliments on my writing, but i havent started piecing my stories together since this year, so im kind of proud of you. Great Job so far. I can tell you love Felines, and i love them also. But i decided to write about wolves lately. I guess it's just a phase. But i am an animal lover, so yeah. But this isnt about me, it's about your storie. I love how you put them in Clans. that's awesome. I have mine in prides, tribes, bands, and packs, but not clans. Have you ever read the Warriors series by Erin Hunter? It kinda sounds like you have through your writing, and that's not something bad, it's a good thing that you are not copying her, but your taking her ideas and morphing them to your advantage. I like that. Keep up the good work! Your doing great, Hon. I love it. Tell us more about cloud, and that lion guy, and the white haired wolf. What did Echo's Clan do with him after her mother raked her claws down his arm? Did they take him prisoner, or did they let him go? And whatever happened to the mean girl that hated Echo that was attacked by the bear/gorrilla? We, as readers need answers. And i trust that you will give them to us. Good luck.

um random comment here tellimg myself i was wrong Halloween event is still up and prob will be tom u needs to get on!

c u thenz

im just putting this review to say your shadows brother is telling the truth

OK great chapter and i want to tell you your friend puppozammy pretty much dropped out of the living world (long story) and im like his only living contact (im trying to get him to tell you that but he is just curled up in his little bubble crying) im his shadow... believe me if u will but you dont have to i changed his name to grims choice anyways so i guess ill c u when u get on next oh! Halloween event took me about 2 hours but its actually quite easy now i did it 4 my sister and took about 14 min we have a lot of catching up 2 do he says and i would love to tell you so much but i cant. and he says to tell you his name but ill tell you another time... !omg forgot 2 tell haloween event wont b up Monday cuz it started on like the 20th ... this comment should be a pm but tell lasher i need to talk to him cya around u need 2 do event tomorow or today! and i didnt think u were dead ... maybe i didnt arg... i need to stop typing but i cant carea sends her wishes so do jenny and tuern wait u dont know they yet sory more explianing i hvave to tell you well before i use another thousand or so charcters i have to go cya eventually

y dont they just build a brdige?