Sorry it took so long to realize there was a second chapter! It was good, straight to the point, but still lacked in length. Maybe there should have been flashback fragments. Just a suggestion.

Emma

Oh, wow. That was amazing. You very clearly showed how a Captain (Roman?) could be leading his men into battle, burning beauty along the way. No normal Captain from that time era would have seen the beauty on the march, but there was something about him that made him cry at the loss of clarity and perhaps even a sort of natural inosence.