woah, this was pretty awesome. I liked it. Have you thought of writing a full length story based on something like this? If not I think you should; because I really want to read more. Like, I want to know who "he" and "she" are; how extremely similar they are and how the narrator wishes they were in that position with the guy. It was beautifully written :') Keep smiling and keep writing! '

Aww. How sad. I know the feeling. You're talented. :)

SF

AW!

POOR GIRL!

That is really heartbreaking!

This is much better then the orginal one. The story's spacing is so much better and you can see you have improved you writing style! Keep on writing!

i dont think that you telling us the setting is really that important or necessary. i think that the story was very good i liked it alot. except for when you explained the setting that kinda ruined it for me. not to dwell on that or anything. i liked the point of view of which it was written form though.