|Reviews for Magyk|
| Sanareth 8/16/10 . chapter 3
Nicely structured; A few minor cosmetic blemishes aside (And I can't really talk considering the amount of error's I make.) there's a really compelling narrative here.
I'll be interested to see how this develops.
What particularly piques me is the almost endless string of possibilities for Payback a shade-dweller would see in magic that's Real. Everything from getting a an entertainment gig at one of the casinos where everyone expects to be amazed by 'tricks' to setting Ben on fire with a beam of magykil lyght.
Oh; if you want a couple of possible bit's of advice...
When doing text in 'ye olde englishe' another mannerism to adopt is interchanging the 's'es in words for f's for example; thif instead of this. (Nice thinking with the anamorphic text, from calligraphy to print as well as old to modern English.)
... Actually, now that I think about it I really don't have much more to say. Either way, I'll await future installments with interest.
Thus ending my first stab, to use an appropriate analogy,at peer review on this site.
(BTW: If the name 'the shades' was a Terry pratchett reference, then well done. If you thought it up yourself to describe the localized black hole of poverty and lawlessness that is a slum, then even better, it really is an excellent name!)