|Reviews for Pale|
| simpleplan13 6/19/10 . chapter 1
Review Marathon (link in my profile).
I love the alliteration in this piece. It's almost a bit like a tongue-twister with so many ps in such a sort space. However, the phrasing seemed a bit off. When I read it out loud it sounded awkward. Mostly the first line I think. Or maybe it's because the sentence isn't really a sentence? I did like the last line though. It was such an interesting similie. It definitely forced me to think about how a dress could work like a war. It's an interesting description.
| Isca 5/2/10 . chapter 1
"Works like a war for you." Brilliant. This reminded me of Marlowe: "the face that launched a thousand ships." The woman in the "pink sundress" sounds like a modern-day version of Helen of Troy. :)
| Black Sparrow 4/27/10 . chapter 1
Well written :)
| nickyO 4/26/10 . chapter 1
Last line is very smart.
| The Immoralist 4/25/10 . chapter 1
this is, pretty.
| Princess-anna57 4/25/10 . chapter 1
Haha interesting haiku, really thought provoking! Well done. Keep at it!