definitely something I could connect to. good job

it flows well and speaks to the reader in a very direct, heartfelt way. it's a longing for what cannot yet be, so there is sadness yet hope. these emotions are relatable to many, i'm sure. well done.

I really liked this. Great job with the rhyming, rhythm, and basic idea.

I think for your first poem its pretty good, but I'm not really sure about the point you were trying to make... was it about wanting to kill youself? That's just so dark, and maybe it would help your narration if you work on the detail more. Keep at it.

Juliet.