Hm. Different enough from the previous chapter to think that you had much more time with the previous chapters. But I did like that it got back to reality. The scene with her mother was confusing. Too many unnamed men walking about with eyes here and eyes there. Maybe I should reread it.

Long, I love long, hehe.

Truly fascinating

Although, I think the break between the action and the inner thoughts of Maddie could have been a completely other chapter maybe.

I did like it though, how you described Anberlin. Although I think it could be read through the actions as easily as it was described through Maddie. Or just even in that one paragraph:

... "He was just one man who found the line that separated that calm, confident Anberlin who Maddie knew, from the reckless, angry mess of a girl she had heard all the way out in the hall..."

All the same. Good good D

Curious.

That's all really to say to that, hah.

Great cliffhanger! I love it when authors start out stories like this!

L.L.B

Wowzers, lots to read. But well worth it. I'm already interested in where it's going and really I think I adore Anna already. For some reason. I don't know why. I just like the spunk maybe, sarcastic attitude, that's probably it. And her cat. But that's just the animal lover in me.

Very nice. Give too much away though already? Or will it end up being more than just her soul to keep?

Good start, slow but good. Slow in the professional way I mean.

Set up her character well, and the place.

Hey! Very nice work, your writing style is quirky and definitely different but it makes for an interesting read for sure.

It's nice that you already have the full novel written and this was a good intro chapter though it might have been nice to see a little more foreshadowing as to what is going to happen in later chapters, bogging down with too many details (like the section in the middle explaining to the book delivery job) can sometimes bore the reader. I think it was good to do some explain to how she got the job at the hotel but maybe not in so many words.

But that is only a suggestion XD

Keep on writing!

Dark Angel