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The only thing I would suggest changing is the format of this piece. I like the form of the stanza at the end [so perhaps the piece would look more pleasing-to-the-eye if it were formatted like that: in short stanzas].

"Girls with their toes on Pointe." Precise image. You're 'in focus' here. I like that.

"Lights linger." Beautiful.

"In the May-Day heat." I can relate [those May-Day dances get tiring after awhile].

"But when she wears tangerine, she looks like the sunset." Aww, this line is so pretty - it's the perfect combination of colour imagery, femininity, and nature imagery.

"Un-plucked from trees." I like this 'untouched' feel [as though the speaker can 'see' her 'new self' in front of her, but cannot yet find the courage to 'become' the tangerine skin].

Immensely stirring. Super-precise diction, hardly a word superfluous. Image follows image, sort of like snapshots, not a motion picture, which gives it the shivering mad tone of hysteria, of something (a chrysanthemum) or someone regretfully dying. Melancholy overflows with the death signs all over- chrysanthemums, the sun setting and the sky bleeding- all compressed and concise and a strong dose of emotions to take at once, but the catharsis is there. I love the psychedelic tangerines and the contrast of coldness and reclusion warring against heat and life and tornadoes- it leaves one feeling constantly uncertain and balancing on the line between death and life and love and loneliness, or whatever works with the reader-anything goes in poetics, really. Great job!

simply beautiful. I love the format! I'm so speechless about how much I love this poem.

"a dozen chinks of parted hairlines"; "she swallows tangerine tornadoes when the sky shivers in its own blood"; HA! I could quote the whole poem and say it was my favorite part. I love your poems!

This is absolutely beautiful and amazing and just whoa. :) You are such a talented writer.

'but when she wears tangerine

she looks like the sunset; the glint off

the water bridge, surf

from the canoe downstream,

walking alone on the university

campus looking for yourself

as you used to be.'

Favourite bit _

Great job and keep writing.