| Reviews for Empty Core |
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Launo 7/26/10 . chapter 1I really liked your word choices. The whole piece feels deep and the style was just beautiful. I like it a lot. |
ByYourSide 7/19/10 . chapter 1Can you tell me more about the rigveda book and the vedas? I assume it's from Hinduism, but I don't know tons about it. Are you Hindi? What do you guys believe? Sorry for all the questions, but it's interesting to me. :) I like the imagery here. Especially the part about those who walk for months. I got a strong image of a pilgramage, and solemn faces, and bright orange lights in the darkness. I like how you say you envy and doubt their beliefs. What does that mean? Is this based on real life? Very interested, By Your Side |
seredemia 6/21/10 . chapter 1I loved this. For some reason, I think the different language in it gives it a unique feeling. It's different and it stands out. I like how you interpreted the non existence and no meaning. I loved the line about envy... This was short, but yourchoice of words were beautiful. Great job on this :D |
this wild abyss 6/15/10 . chapter 1This is beautiful, haunting, and amazing. You descriptions were spot on, and word choice was perfect for the scene. I like the sense of mystery you conveyed here. Awesome work! Adonnen |
Charel Lebl 6/14/10 . chapter 1This reminds me of a book I read once...very deep and serious. Like you said, a bit confusing, but I got the picture well, and could definitely imagine just how she was feeling. Very touching! CL |
Alice's Pendant 6/11/10 . chapter 1Um. I don't really get it. But I can tell its' very spiritual. That's the only thing I got out of it. sorry. I've never studied the Sanskrit.. or the Vedas.. So I'm not in the right position to give any comments. However, I think you should write an explanation at the beginning. You should also translate the Rigvedas as part of the piece. Awesomeness! Deli .x |
sophiesix 6/9/10 . chapter 1i love teh para describing the crowds by the banks of the river - just beautiful. i like how you create this wonderful feeling of togetherness, untouched by everyday things, and then write teh narrator out of that feeling entirely. powerful! good luck in teh wcc! |
Q75 6/7/10 . chapter 1Wow. I really get this piece. The envy of the others, who seem to never waver in belief. I especially liked, the contrasting factor of 'I am a flame, untouched, pure..' and 'my own soot smothers me, my own black obilerates me'. and the repetition of I, and at the end my own; hints to the readers that it is because of the character's fault he could not 'see the light'. And yes, the piece is a bit of confusing, but it would mirror the confusion in the character, as he/she doubts and envy, and seek meaning in their life. No? Heh. Well, that's what I think. Q75 |
Sercus Kaynine 6/6/10 . chapter 1Nice take on the prompt. Something spiritually and historically related sticks out. I also enjoyed your descriptions of places and emotions. Good job and good luck in WCC! |
Experiment101 6/5/10 . chapter 1I love this, and how you describe stars as pinpricks, :o E- from the road house |
AvidWriter-92 6/5/10 . chapter 1Hey, Pooja. :) I really, really liked your one shot for the WCC. :P I wrote one for it, :D but it's very different from yours. :P Anyways. I LOVED this. :) Just adored it. :) I studied the Vedas briefly in school, so I kinda grasped what you were talking about in your A/N. :P I have a question, though... Is the italics a translation of a certain hymn, or did you write it? Either way, it's beatifully written. I liked the viewpoint as someone who is running out of time, and is in a hopeless situation... You ended it perfectly, also. Sigh... :) I loved how you described everything! Great job! Avid... :) (My entry is called Perceptions, if you wanted to see my take on the prompt. :D) |