|Reviews for You had me at hello|
| Wakao 6/8/10 . chapter 1
Your first sentence doesn't make sense. 'Shopping is ridiculously long'? Do you mean it takes a long time to shop? Or is there an object called shopping that is ridiculously long?
I don't think the context of the story was made clear enough. I'm confused. I assume Ally is on holiday in Australia and she and Josh met online and had some sort of long-distance relationship but broke up because - this is the part where I'm confused - they shared a common best friend whom Ally had the hots for. Huh.
By the way, your title is a rip off from some tom cruise movie.
Your spelling and grammar is good, so it's just the coherence of the story you ought to work on.
| Gii3 6/8/10 . chapter 1
That was pretty nice!