I think the imagery goes without saying. So, I will just say that I love it and be done with it. I like the rhythm in this one, no completes. It's got a beat, a mind of its own in some places, but I can really feel the pulse. And I like the consistent rhyme all the way through. It really brings it all together. The only thing I'd consider would be adding a few more syllables to the fourth and second lines from the bottom because they're a little short and they break the flow. An unfortunate way to end such a wonderful and concise poem. Well done. I honestly can't wait to read more!

nice

This is a very nice poem with an interesting message. I also really enjoyed how you managed to fit in the rhymes. Well written. Keep up the good work.

Very interesting. I liked the last four lines.

-Masq