This has a somewhat plot but the spelling is really bad. Didnt anyone edit this or even proof read it before it was posted.

I only got about half way through the first chapter before I gave up. The writing is pathetic to be kind. The use of ( ) is beyond my comprehension.

It took me longer to read because I had to decipher what you where trying to say but other than the obvious grammar and punctuation mistakes, not bad. I'm subscribing to your work because I'd like to see where this story is going. I hope you continue writing.

Why do you use too when it should be to? Type-o? and you have mane instead of name. Just thought I should let you know. Well written other wise.

You do not have a single quotation mark in the whole story and you have lots of dialogue. Your punctuation needs lots of work. Also, several places throughout the story you use "too" instead of "to". Overall it has potential to be a good story, but the lack of punctuation, and the many grammar errors make it a very confusing, and a pain to read. It needs work.

its hard to read but sounds good. there r no qoutation marks and it kinda rambles on. has some potential, needs some work.