|Reviews for The Best Worse Summer Job I Ever Had|
| SomeRandomScribbles 3/28/11 . chapter 1
I'm afraid the light of my laptop will blind me if I read any longer, but from what I've seen so far, this is a fantastic story. I'm no expert, but I honestly think with a little tidying up, this could be good enough for publication :)
There were a couple of things I though could be improved - I felt the opening was a little bit rushed, as if you were trying to finish it so you could get on with the flashbacks. Occasionally there's a bit of an information overload, particularly when you're describing the work day, and I felt sometimes your paragraphs are a bit two short, making the story feel a little stop-start.
But there was so much more good stuff! I absolutely love your writing style - so relaxed and realistic. You really draw the reader in and make them feel at home and in the moment. Your descriptions are brilliant and create such a clear image and atmosphere in the reader's mind - I could really visualize this story. I also like the way you introduce the characters. It's very personal and effective, and the nicknames help to remember who everyone is.