|Reviews for At The Edge|
| Pandora14213 8/3/10 . chapter 1
I really like this poem. You should keep writing! :D
| Angel Investor 8/3/10 . chapter 1
Awesome. I liked the rhymes. However, there was one line that kind of ruined the flow, because it was shorter than the other lines.
"All he was has turned to grey."
I would correct that by adding one single word, so that it'd look like this.
"All he once was has turned to grey".
With that little correction the poem would look like this:
"At the edge of the abyss, in the howling dark;
There stands a man with a broken heart.
Lost in the memory of those twilit days;
All he once was has turned to grey.
He remembers his lover, her sapphire eyes;
Tormenting fantasies that make him cry.
He steels himself, takes a final breath;
And makes the leap, into waiting death…"
See the difference? Otherwise it was very well done. :)