I'll say I was drawn in by the summary, but... I didn't get much out of the first chapter. The characters kind of... how to put it, felt flat. I didn't get any personality beyond the cliche sterotype they are. I know it is old, but you should concider working on that. :)

WOW! This story was absolutely amazing! please keep going i really want to know what happens next! um just a question do you watch fullmetal alchemist?