Wow.

Without completely meaning to quote 500 Days Of Summer: I don't see this as a love story, but I do see it as a story about love. True love. And for me, that's what made it so gripping and beautiful.

And I think that it's because of how three-dimensional you made your characters, how real they seemed through you showing their faults and not always holding them up in the light, that adds to how breathtakingly moving this whole story is.

I honestly loved it. And I think it's so clever how you planned it all, how you set it out. I loved how you had Laine speak to us as though she really saw us. I felt like she was talking to me, saying that she could trust me because I'd stuck around that far, and it really moved me. I felt like they were my friends, and she was entrusting me with her most prized secrets, and it was all because I'd stuck around and been there for her, providing a listening ear when she'd needed it.

And just to throw it out there, I loved Jace. I think he was just a loveable character. You showed his ups and downs, his innermost thoughts. You never tried to force us into liking him, you gave us every reason why he didn't even like himself, and yet he seemed so real, and so loving but troubled, that all I wanted was just to reach through my laptop screen and give him a hug.

You handled everything so well, and it was all so believable. When I finished the last chapter, I felt like it was all real, like Jace and Laine are over in Brisbane right now, happy and together. This whole story is genius. I loved it.

Congratulations on creating such an amazing story, it's officially going down in my favourites. I can't believe this hasn't had more attention and reviews than it has, it deserves it. Thank you for writing this - even though I stayed up until almost four am this morning reading this, and now I'm tired as hell, it was worth it :-)

Beautiful love story 3

I adored this story. I love the way you write your sentences, I love the way you use punctuations, I love the way you use paragraphs.

Overall, I'd say I adore Jace's character, too. And even Laine.

Thanks for writing it :D You're awesome.

Imika

Wow. You're a genius. I don't think anyone could have written this story better. It was just so BRILLIANTLY put together; there's really no other way to describe it.

Your writing skills are magnificent - the way Elena ponders situations and her life, how everything slowly unravels, and how you used choppy sentences with careful wording to make it captivating and mysterious.

Crazy twist at the end, too. I don't even know how it's possible to think up an ending as amazing as that... It's almost like a puzzle... The pieces of this story are so meticulously placed, and the last pieces in the final chapter end up giving you a completely different picture.
Shit... The ending... Just. Whoa.

I've seen good writers. I've seen great plots with witty characters. I've seen tragic endings. I've seen fluffy happily ever afters. But this? This is real writing. I think you're going to go far, and this deserves to be published.

It had an amazing storyline - with its interesting family and relationship problems - but for me, what made this story was you, as the phenomenal writer you are!

Good luck.

-RubyRed22

P.S. I don't think I've ever been this passionate about a story before... ;)

Oh my gosh, you've successfully made me cry... I get it now. That's just...

OMG. That ending to this chapter was SOOOOO... dramatic! I love it! Can't wait to see what happens next!

well, this is definitely making me feel conflicted.

i like Jace.

i like Laine, for the most part. but what she did towards the end wasn't right. since when was it the innocent baby's fault? it seems like she thinks its the lesser of two evils by saving him from his mother. but how we do we know it was gonna be a boy? whats to stop Roseanne from getting pregnant again...

you're a talented writer and this is definitely different. perhaps one of your categories should be angst.

one thing. you are an amazing writer. sure i got confused at times but in the end i guess it all makes sense. wonderful story. x)

This was a fab story, so different to what I expected, but really well written and constructed - kept me hooked from start to finish!

I love it!

wow,just wow!

i surely didnt expect all the twists.

ur writing style give hints to angst but the plotline was still surprising.

kudos

Friggin A. Most of the new stories that arrive on fp are usually crap writing, from crap 'authors' (and I use that term author VERY lightly), who dnt know a crap about writing.

Its almost disgusting.

Really.

Then here come's your story. Its like a breath of fresh air from all of the putrid, sorrid, toxic, disgusting garbage that's been poluting fp recently. And by jove, I love you for making it possible for me to breath again. You're one of the very few who's new story has kept me pass the first chappie, or even made me click the link to read it , for that matter. And boy, am glad I did.

I love your main characters. Laine is not some, weak, whiny chick who irritates me to no end. SO glad I didn't feel like jumping through the screen to tell her sod the hell off. Its a relief, actually. When I found out that home girl was preggers, I hoped (as much as I simply ADORE babies and children) that she would miscarry. And good ole, faithful Laine, did the job for me. God, I just love her all the more because of that little evil streak in the end there.

And Jace... What can I say but to marry me? I love the kid. End of story. And its only because I love Laine too that I'm not going to come in between their relationship. I deserve a thank you from the happy couple for my heartfelt consideration.

Through about forty percent of the story my throat was constricted with tears. I just found it oober unfair how that wicked witch of the west was acting with her own son. I just can't understand how a mother could be so heatless. And when he attempted suicide? I almost died right along with him. Dang near broke my heart, he did. I thought he was a goner. Thank the heavens above that he was okay... relatively, I guess.

My whole long hour ramble is to show how awesome I think you are for writing this, and even awesomer for sharing it with us other random, insignifigant people in the world.

Kudos

$*Aradia Cloud*$

P.S. If there are any horrible spelling errors, please excuse it. My laptop just busted a few hours ago and I'm writing this review on my phone. Which I'm horrible at typing on.

ok. man describing how i feel after reading this whole story is hard to put into words. ok i got it. if thats your idea of a good story you have one messed up mind sweetheart. of course that being said, it does coincide with today's generation so im sure other people in all their twisted idiotic glory loved it for the shits and giggles. But i suppose you can take from that what you will.

OMG! That was such a heartgripping story...

There were moments when I just smiled due to their happiness,

But there were also moments when I just felt like crying & did :)

Carry on writing you are extremely talented!

x

P.s I did get confused at times :D

wait that's it? what about an epilogue? :O