Pretty good chapter. There is one thing a little confusing though. You keep calling Jake, James as well, and I just think it would be simpler to just call him one name. Idk if you had a plan to do something creative where he had to have 2 names to be called, but if not, then you should defiantly decide on either Jake or James. Just a little advice. Update again ASAP! - RoseBriar

It's ok. It kind of seems forced to me though. The ideas intresting, and the way your taking it is good, but it just doesn't really flow all that well.

awesome update please

Wow this story is cute and just kind of fun to read, which is exactly what i was looking for. I hope that you are able to get out another chapter soon.

I like your story so far. But the names of the two guys are really confusing. Both have names that begin with J. And you keep switching from Jake to James. I can't tell who's who in the story when she's talking.

I'm going to guess... Jake? Am I right? yeaahh, thats what i thought... :DD

You need to update faster! i had to re-read the first chapter because I forgot, which i'm not complaining about, because I love it! I hope you update soon :)

since is only one chapter i dont have alot to say other than it has potential :) do hope you update son

aww this was hilarious. that boy is epic haha update soon)

Haha! This is awesome! I can't wait to read more! Update ASAP! - RoseBriar

i like it! i laughed really loud when i was reading the part where he first strarts trying to touch her butt and my mom looked at me like i was insane lol anyways, update son! :D

I am so loving this story! :DD

Update pretty damn quick please, yeah?

YOU ROCK!

Love,

E

Good first chapter, I really want to know what happens next :) x

Keep going. Love it so far. Introduced alot of characters, should limit how many you're really going to include in the story. Too many tend to complicate the major characters development.

oh i liked it :D you should definitely keep writing it :)