|Reviews for The Rules|
| TricraxAsta 10/25/10 . chapter 2
I'll admit this one was a wee bit confusing, but it had the same unique feel of magic to it that so impresses me.
| TricraxAsta 10/25/10 . chapter 1
I love it. The references to magic are so fleeting and wondrous that the magic actually -feels- like something powerful and mysterious. It's really amazing.
| Lynn K. Hollander 9/9/10 . chapter 1
'They'd stuck mostly to pleasantries and idle talk, during which she'd gotten the impression that Charlotte was maybe a bit spoiled under that polite veneer of hers and that Gideon had a bright mind under his frail appearance, but once in a while, the conversation would skirt decidedly strange territory, following which one of them or both would promptly change the subject.' For the most part, this is well written and interesting. Here, however, I think you've missed an opportunity. This is telling the reader, rather than showing her. Examples of the abrupt change of subject would be stronger as well as beginning to define what secret the strange family is hiding.
I do find Sophie strangely wimpy. It's Sophie's house, she's the mistress here. James and Alstair, one a servant and the other a classless stranger, trespass on her home, time and goodwill without any protest from her. Why? '"I will... keep the children company," she offered' is not an adequate response to the cavalier manners the two men display. How did Alstair gain entrance in the first place? 'And yet, Sophia could feel a twinge of apprehension. But she acquiesced.' Why doesn't she act?
'.. she scurried to pull it out and hand it to him.' scurry is to move 'with light running steps, to scamper'. Not the best word here.
| MadameCardui 9/8/10 . chapter 1
I don't understand this at all, but I'm completely fascinated by it, and it's really elegantly written. I can't quite understand how you wrote something so gripping with such limited exposition, but you managed it and consequently I'm impressed.