It seems like you have found the perfect metaphor for this. Simple, yet powerful. Thanks for the review!

Thanks for your review awhile back. Sorry it took me so long to return the favor!

I like the descriptions here. The metaphors were really powerful and created a great image for me in my mind. The ending was nice too. I liked its bittersweet quality.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)