Interesting and well, good hook.

I gotta say that I enjoy your use of the first person perspective. You do it very well. All I can say is watch out for lulls in the narrative. Im not saying its boring, only that there were moments where I had to push myself through the story.

Hmm... Maybe Im just an impatient turd-basket.

Anyway, I really do like it and am looking forward to the second chapter.

Dont disappoint! Youve got potential!

That was great! Please update

intrestng...