|Reviews for First Divine Light|
| Louis-sama 2/22/11 . chapter 4
Ooh, drama! It's been a while since I saw one! Well, you've portrayed something that can make the readers realize something. Wars can put strain into anyone, and argument between Sayomi and Haruki. As humans, they can't escape such simple things like disagreement and whatever it is.
And the battle at the end. While it looks interesting, I have a feeling that it had been ended rather quickly, rather anticlimactic end. It's not like I don't like it, but the battle between whoever they are is very brief. Other than that, you're doing fine.
Louis-sama is in good mood today. Be happy!
| Louis-sama 2/22/11 . chapter 3
Haha, another good chapter! Still acting nonchalant even after getting grievous injuries, how amazing. The battle scenes are amazing beyond words, I am pleased by how you made both Sayomi and Haruki have their interaction while battling their foes. To keep humanity while battling enemies is a great challenge for any human being and I am simply amazed by their determination. You sure are a good author.
But something's bothering me. Their conversation is too perfect to flow. Why there's no arguments between characters? Well, while it's for adding conflicts in story, it's not necessarily needed for a story. At this rate, you're doing just fine.
I am going for the next chapter. Louis-sama is very happy.
| Louis-sama 2/22/11 . chapter 2
Another intense chapter. So the enemy is Yamata no Orochi, huh? Will it follow its myth, like consuming eight maidens and whatnot? Well, it seems to be loosely based on that myth. I am glad to be alive because it's rare to see something like this in fp. Your description is so amazing and understandable at the same time. I will move forward for the next chapter.
Louis-sama is a delinquent, he drives car without a license.
| Louis-sama 2/22/11 . chapter 1
Louis-sama says hi.
Hmm, what a magnificent story and start. The battle scenes were beautifully done and I can feel the emotions of the characters you've portrayed. I am moved by Sayomi's determination and her belief about not thinking a battle as a game. This story is curiously an amazing masterpiece and yet, I am baffled to see how less people reviewed this story. With all factors combined, I am glad to read this story and I'll be moving for the next chapter.
PS: Is Ame no Murakumo, by any chance, has something to do with Kusanagi sword (one of Japanese's imperial regalia, people like to put it in stories).
| Kisho 2/20/11 . chapter 10
Amazing... this is really amazing, Sora! _ You have such a deep, thoroughly interesting setting, and the way you plunge right into it and slowly reveal it through the dialog, the actions... I've seen that done a lot, but you pull it off so masterfully! I'm really impressed, Sora. :3
And your characters too, your characters are the best part, really! They're so... incredibly... human! They're all so different, and original... and they all have such deep personalities; they feel doubt, despair, pride, rage... really, it's impressive! And your action scenes, too, you capture the speed, the frenzy, and the details, even the flow of battle is very easy to sense... I feel kind of humbled, to be honest. xD
Let's see, criticism, always a good thing. Your English isn't perfect. You have a really good sense of the artistic usage of the language, but sometimes your mechanical English is a bit off.
Also, also, I didn't get a very clear picture of Haruki... I thought she was a boy for a good half of the first chapter, actually... xD Hehe, but, I especially didn't feel she was teenaged for a while. I mean, I guess it's part of her personality, but... I don't even know, maybe I just read too quickly and missed important information in the beginning. xD
Lastly, a bit deeper... in desperate times, losing battles, I don't think that sense of desperation is written strongly enough. I mean, Sayomi and Haruki get beaten up when they're losing, but... they don't tend to come out of it pretty when they win, either. _' Things like Arai's first appearance when he was dueling Haruki, or when they were summoning Ame no Murakumo, I don't think it felt desperate enough. Well, that's just me, anyway. _' Your winning battles have a very good sense of victory to them, though, on the other hand! Chapter 10 was great, I loved watching the demons get pulverized. x3
Oh, and also, I got kind of thrown off by your switches between left-aligned and center-aligned text... xD
I'm really surprised you only have 5 (well, 6 now) reviews for this... it has a good hook at the beginning, and the flow is gripping. Maybe it's 'cause your chapters are long? I don't really know... _'
Either way, did I just write two thousand characters up there? Jez, I got a bit carried away... xD Anyway, I really really like the story! I'm waiting (very eagerly) for the next chapter! x3
| TheSyrupNugget 2/19/11 . chapter 10
One thing I noticed is you make the occasional minor grammatical error (for example, not capitalizing some character names)
but it's not a big deal. I like it, though. It kind of reminds me of a lot of fantasy novels I kind of grew up reading, but I'm not sure why.
| Writing-Is-Fun 1/18/11 . chapter 1
I haven't fully finished reading the first chapter yet. However, this is really well written. If this is already an anime as you say you're developing or continuing to develop I'm gonna' start looking for it. You've done a really good job with this. I think this is something I'd want to watch.
| Kisara Higashi 11/29/10 . chapter 1
This is a promising story! I enjoy your writing style, as well. :) Though, for me there was a bit of gender confusion with this first chapter, but I imagine that will be cleared up eventually!
| xXTheRealSlimBabbii7Xx 9/26/10 . chapter 2
I'd have to say i really like ur characters and... stuff.
i mean, im trying to think of good things to say that sounds helpful and worthwhile, but in the end it all just equals good job on ur writing...
i guess that will have to do :)
| xXTheRealSlimBabbii7Xx 9/26/10 . chapter 1
wel THIS IS INTENSE! :) i would really like to read more!
and if u were serious about r&r and return favors, plz only read my hybrids fic ( imean u COULD read the others but im not working on them right now...)
yea this review makes me feel jerkish...
i like your writing style though! its very descriptive and... what not! so... update as soon as you can but dont force anything... usually forced things come out badly...