Hi, this is a good poem, but I'm afraid the grammar mistakes make it look bad. For example, the title should be capitalised. E.g: I'm a Vampire.

Also the line "Till im ful" stands out because it particularly looks horrible. Changing it to "Untill I'm full" makes all the difference.

Finally, I don't like the last line. The capitals don't look good. Without them the line will look a lot better.

Mistakes aside, the actual poem is well written. On that, good job. :)

Hm... This needs improvement. If you are serious as a writer, which you seem like because of your little blurb about a "new book", I would first suggest you learn to spell, insert punctuation, and write about something more original than god-forsaken, twice cursed Vampires! By the blood of the saviour, that is the most over-done subject in the world right now. If you hope to assert yourself over other writers, write something original, write something that flows, and please, think before you write.

"Im a vampire

I am a vampire"

Redundant statements are redundant, dearie.